Opinion / Columnist
Thanks for the Bikita birthday present, Cdes
26 Jan 2017 at 01:24hrs | Views
Dear Cabinet and Politburo members
COMRADES, I am beside myself with joy. I am so, so elated. I am overwhelmed with happiness coming from the sweet results of the Bikita West by-election. I really do not know how I can thank you my Comrades for this wonderful birthday present.
This shows that the future is very, very bright for the party. Bikita has always been a testing ground for our strategies, and once the results are like this, we can all be rest assured that the party is home and dry. Come 2018, we should be able to once again cruise to another landslide… a majority that would allow us to make and change laws as our people see fit without having to worry about what the western puppets have to say. This is very good and we should keep it up.
Meanwhile, what has just happened in The Gambia is very, very sad. The West has once again managed to effect an illegal regime change in yet another African country. This is a very bad precedent that has been set.
If I were the chairman of the African Union, I would naturally have used my powers to veto the misinformed decision by Economic Community of West African States to interfere with the internal affairs of a sovereign state.
How I wish The Gambia were a member of our very own Southern African Development Community!
I am just winding up my vacation… we should be back together shortly. Curiously, this year there was no rumour about me either being dead or being on my deathbed. It looks like my detractors are getting tired of regurgitating that rumour. This is a marathon, I warned them! Handei tione!
Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME
… AND CZ'S NOTEBOOK
Good, very good!
The results of the Bikita West by-election are finally here; the election in which Joice Mujuru's Zimbabwe People First (ZPF) project lost its electoral v-rginity in a very bad way by losing to Zanu-PF. It is just like a careless woman who loses her v-rginity to a village madman… the well-deserved defeat certainly portends worse things to come.
The very good thing about this development is that it goes to show that, just like Dr CZ, Zimbos can tell between real change and false one. As Dr CZ has repeatedly pointed out before, Mujuru & Co are just Zanu-PF by another name. The difference between ZPF and Zanu-PF is in names only for they are one and the same. Had the gangsters left Zanu-PF on their own volition — just as Dr CZ proudly did in June of 1982 — then the story would have been different.
Today, Zimbos would be trying to believe at least half of the stories that ZPF is struggling to sell around. This is the same motley that believed strongly in Zanu-PF and what it stands for even after being booted out of the party to the extent that some of them tried to get the courts to order their re-admission into the cult. And all of a sudden, they want to tell Zimbos that Zanu-PF is not good for them. What a silly lot!
If indeed ZPF Masvingo member, Claudius Makova, did not benefit from Zanu-PF's violence to "win" the January 2001 by-election, he certainly could have easily replayed the magic wand to give his new party's candidate, Kudakwashe Gopo, a decent result. Gopo's background as a Zanu-PF cadre, who tormented poor villagers on behalf of Makova & Co, has not been forgotten either.
Norton legislator, Cde Temba Mliswa, in a fulsome interview he blessed the State-controlled media with, aptly summed up Mujuru & Co's position: "My DNA is Zanu-PF. I never got out of Zanu-PF intentionally. It's like being chucked out of my father's house. It doesn't mean that I lose my totem. That's the reality." Very true. That is the reality about everyone who was thrown out of that cult.
Found!
Good news for a change. Information reaching Dr CZ from several of his trusted sources and corroborated by very senior government and party officials is to the effect that the US$15 billion that we all have been searching high and low for might not have been stolen after all… there are now solid indications that it actually went towards paying for the rains. In which case we should all sincerely apologise for the suspicion and insults that, out of ignorance, we might have misdirected at some of our top officials… and apologise profusely!
Very good!
Dr CZ enjoyed the bond performance by the Warriors at the African Confederation Cup soccer tournament in Gabon where they got an early exit. One issue that Dr CZ and most of his fans will never agree on is that of soccer. One needs to convince Dr CZ — even in diagrams, graphs, pie-charts et al if words alone can't sufficiently do the job — what is so life-enhancing about soccer to those who will not be in the field of play other than brainwashing adult men into thinking that they are busy when in fact they are not… to allow people to escape to cloud cuckoo and feel important, the importance — not impotence! — that they will never feel in real life.
What use does soccer have when inmates at Ethembeni Old People's home or Engutsheni mental hospital both in Bulawayo are sleeping on empty bellies? A whole country gets into an ecstasy over soccer when antediluvian diseases like typhoid and cholera are killing people in our hospitals… millions of dollars are being spent on adults men chasing a ball with the whole supposedly sane nation cheering them on? The plain — but brutally honest truth — is that in the case of Zimbabwe, soccer is a luxury that we cannot afford. This is the reason Dr CZ prayed fervently that the Warriors be defeated — and defeated thoroughly — in all their matches. The prayer was duly answered although Dr CZ was still disappointed that the margin of loss was not good enough! At least they can come back home and we focus our attention on things that really matter… life-enhancing things, and soccer is certainly not even remotely one of those.
Addled!
United Family International Church (UFIC) founder, Prophet Emmanuel Makandiwa this week reportedly launched an acerbic attack on detractors who made fun of his video posted online late last year in which his followers were being made to "seed" money in various amounts ranging from US$7, US$77, US$770, US$7 700 and US$77 000 purportedly in exchange for God's favour in making sure that the earthly desires of their hearts are fulfilled in this year of our good Lord 2017.
The UFIC founder was quoted in the media as telling the detractors to "mind their own business!"
"Those who are not members of this congregation (UFIC) and do not believe in seeding must keep quiet and stop interfering in the governance of this ministry. They (critics) must know that each house has a father who determines what is right or wrong for his children or what relish the family will eat, it's your choice and neighbours must just mind their own business!"
As someone who is seriously toying with the idea of venturing into this field called gosprenuership, Dr CZ liked the word "business" which he captured by its pedestrian meaning… making money for the back pocket! Dr CZ's millions of fans certainly cannot wait for CZ Ministries International Plc so that they can also start seeding their way to prosperity!
That's about it about Prophet Makandiwa. I will digress!
No one serious should ever take any addled threats by some of the prophets of this world seriously. What does the Good Book say about them? Jeremiah 23:16-21 (New International Version).
16 This is what the LORD Almighty says:
"Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you;
they fill you with false hopes.
They speak visions from their own minds, not from the mouth of the LORD.
17 They keep saying to those who despise me, 'The LORD says: You will have peace.'
And to all who follow the stubbornness of their hearts they say, 'No harm will come to you.'
18 But which of them has stood in the council of the LORD to see or to hear his word?
Who has listened and heard his word?
19 See, the storm of the LORD will burst out in wrath, a whirlwind swirling down on the heads of the wicked.
20 The anger of the LORD will not turn back until he fully accomplishes the purposes of his heart.
In days to come you will understand it clearly.
21 I did not send these prophets, yet they have run with their message; I did not speak to them, yet they have prophesied."
Some the threats by today's prophets are not unexpected. This is what the same Good Book says in Micah 3: 3-7 (NIV)
5 This is what the LORD says:
"As for the prophets who lead my people astray, they proclaim 'peace' if they have something to eat, but prepare to wage war against anyone who refuses to feed them.
6 Therefore night will come over you, without visions, and darkness, without divination.
The sun will set for the prophets, and the day will go dark for them.
7 The seers will be ashamed and the diviners disgraced.
They will all cover their faces because there is no answer from God."
So when they get angry, it is within his right to be sincerely so, because their detractors are interfering with their livelihood.
cznotebook@yahoo.co.uk
COMRADES, I am beside myself with joy. I am so, so elated. I am overwhelmed with happiness coming from the sweet results of the Bikita West by-election. I really do not know how I can thank you my Comrades for this wonderful birthday present.
This shows that the future is very, very bright for the party. Bikita has always been a testing ground for our strategies, and once the results are like this, we can all be rest assured that the party is home and dry. Come 2018, we should be able to once again cruise to another landslide… a majority that would allow us to make and change laws as our people see fit without having to worry about what the western puppets have to say. This is very good and we should keep it up.
Meanwhile, what has just happened in The Gambia is very, very sad. The West has once again managed to effect an illegal regime change in yet another African country. This is a very bad precedent that has been set.
If I were the chairman of the African Union, I would naturally have used my powers to veto the misinformed decision by Economic Community of West African States to interfere with the internal affairs of a sovereign state.
How I wish The Gambia were a member of our very own Southern African Development Community!
I am just winding up my vacation… we should be back together shortly. Curiously, this year there was no rumour about me either being dead or being on my deathbed. It looks like my detractors are getting tired of regurgitating that rumour. This is a marathon, I warned them! Handei tione!
Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME
… AND CZ'S NOTEBOOK
Good, very good!
The results of the Bikita West by-election are finally here; the election in which Joice Mujuru's Zimbabwe People First (ZPF) project lost its electoral v-rginity in a very bad way by losing to Zanu-PF. It is just like a careless woman who loses her v-rginity to a village madman… the well-deserved defeat certainly portends worse things to come.
The very good thing about this development is that it goes to show that, just like Dr CZ, Zimbos can tell between real change and false one. As Dr CZ has repeatedly pointed out before, Mujuru & Co are just Zanu-PF by another name. The difference between ZPF and Zanu-PF is in names only for they are one and the same. Had the gangsters left Zanu-PF on their own volition — just as Dr CZ proudly did in June of 1982 — then the story would have been different.
Today, Zimbos would be trying to believe at least half of the stories that ZPF is struggling to sell around. This is the same motley that believed strongly in Zanu-PF and what it stands for even after being booted out of the party to the extent that some of them tried to get the courts to order their re-admission into the cult. And all of a sudden, they want to tell Zimbos that Zanu-PF is not good for them. What a silly lot!
Norton legislator, Cde Temba Mliswa, in a fulsome interview he blessed the State-controlled media with, aptly summed up Mujuru & Co's position: "My DNA is Zanu-PF. I never got out of Zanu-PF intentionally. It's like being chucked out of my father's house. It doesn't mean that I lose my totem. That's the reality." Very true. That is the reality about everyone who was thrown out of that cult.
Found!
Good news for a change. Information reaching Dr CZ from several of his trusted sources and corroborated by very senior government and party officials is to the effect that the US$15 billion that we all have been searching high and low for might not have been stolen after all… there are now solid indications that it actually went towards paying for the rains. In which case we should all sincerely apologise for the suspicion and insults that, out of ignorance, we might have misdirected at some of our top officials… and apologise profusely!
Very good!
Dr CZ enjoyed the bond performance by the Warriors at the African Confederation Cup soccer tournament in Gabon where they got an early exit. One issue that Dr CZ and most of his fans will never agree on is that of soccer. One needs to convince Dr CZ — even in diagrams, graphs, pie-charts et al if words alone can't sufficiently do the job — what is so life-enhancing about soccer to those who will not be in the field of play other than brainwashing adult men into thinking that they are busy when in fact they are not… to allow people to escape to cloud cuckoo and feel important, the importance — not impotence! — that they will never feel in real life.
What use does soccer have when inmates at Ethembeni Old People's home or Engutsheni mental hospital both in Bulawayo are sleeping on empty bellies? A whole country gets into an ecstasy over soccer when antediluvian diseases like typhoid and cholera are killing people in our hospitals… millions of dollars are being spent on adults men chasing a ball with the whole supposedly sane nation cheering them on? The plain — but brutally honest truth — is that in the case of Zimbabwe, soccer is a luxury that we cannot afford. This is the reason Dr CZ prayed fervently that the Warriors be defeated — and defeated thoroughly — in all their matches. The prayer was duly answered although Dr CZ was still disappointed that the margin of loss was not good enough! At least they can come back home and we focus our attention on things that really matter… life-enhancing things, and soccer is certainly not even remotely one of those.
Addled!
United Family International Church (UFIC) founder, Prophet Emmanuel Makandiwa this week reportedly launched an acerbic attack on detractors who made fun of his video posted online late last year in which his followers were being made to "seed" money in various amounts ranging from US$7, US$77, US$770, US$7 700 and US$77 000 purportedly in exchange for God's favour in making sure that the earthly desires of their hearts are fulfilled in this year of our good Lord 2017.
The UFIC founder was quoted in the media as telling the detractors to "mind their own business!"
"Those who are not members of this congregation (UFIC) and do not believe in seeding must keep quiet and stop interfering in the governance of this ministry. They (critics) must know that each house has a father who determines what is right or wrong for his children or what relish the family will eat, it's your choice and neighbours must just mind their own business!"
As someone who is seriously toying with the idea of venturing into this field called gosprenuership, Dr CZ liked the word "business" which he captured by its pedestrian meaning… making money for the back pocket! Dr CZ's millions of fans certainly cannot wait for CZ Ministries International Plc so that they can also start seeding their way to prosperity!
That's about it about Prophet Makandiwa. I will digress!
No one serious should ever take any addled threats by some of the prophets of this world seriously. What does the Good Book say about them? Jeremiah 23:16-21 (New International Version).
16 This is what the LORD Almighty says:
"Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you;
they fill you with false hopes.
They speak visions from their own minds, not from the mouth of the LORD.
17 They keep saying to those who despise me, 'The LORD says: You will have peace.'
And to all who follow the stubbornness of their hearts they say, 'No harm will come to you.'
18 But which of them has stood in the council of the LORD to see or to hear his word?
Who has listened and heard his word?
19 See, the storm of the LORD will burst out in wrath, a whirlwind swirling down on the heads of the wicked.
20 The anger of the LORD will not turn back until he fully accomplishes the purposes of his heart.
In days to come you will understand it clearly.
21 I did not send these prophets, yet they have run with their message; I did not speak to them, yet they have prophesied."
Some the threats by today's prophets are not unexpected. This is what the same Good Book says in Micah 3: 3-7 (NIV)
5 This is what the LORD says:
"As for the prophets who lead my people astray, they proclaim 'peace' if they have something to eat, but prepare to wage war against anyone who refuses to feed them.
6 Therefore night will come over you, without visions, and darkness, without divination.
The sun will set for the prophets, and the day will go dark for them.
7 The seers will be ashamed and the diviners disgraced.
They will all cover their faces because there is no answer from God."
So when they get angry, it is within his right to be sincerely so, because their detractors are interfering with their livelihood.
cznotebook@yahoo.co.uk
Source - fingaz
All articles and letters published on Bulawayo24 have been independently written by members of Bulawayo24's community. The views of users published on Bulawayo24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Bulawayo24. Bulawayo24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
