Latest News Editor's Choice

Opinion / Columnist

Taking a break to study disciplinary cases, Cdes

by CZ
27 Apr 2017 at 17:45hrs | Views
Dear Cabinet and Politburo members

COMRADES, unhappily, I am unable to address you this week. It has nothing to do with the inclement weather that our evil detractors most likely unleashed on us, but rather the need for me to create time for myself so that I could seriously study the paperwork on the allegations being made against some very senior members of the party… members that the people appear agitated to see being condignly disciplined.

As a leader who always does the bidding of the people, I decided that it was crucial that I take my time to go through the voluminous documents that continue increasing since the allegations first surfaced, so that I can make informed decisions.

Trust me as you always do… I am not trying to protect anyone, but as a leader of a party with clear-cut rules and regulations, I just want to make sure that due process is followed.

I however, will be able to fully address you next week.

Kindest Regards

Yours Sincerely



Tyson fiasco

"This guy is an extortionist," said Cde Phillip "Fiasco" Chiyangwa about Saviour "Tyson" Kasukuwere. "I have treated him as a brother, but his love for money has turned him into something else." Cde Fiasco threatened to spill the beans if Tyson, the embattled Zanu-PF national commissar and Local Government and National Housing Minister, denied the extortion and bribery allegations.

"He demanded US$5 million from me," Cde Fiasco said. "Let him respond to it and I will unleash all the bombs on him. I will write a book about Tyson and myself. He is simply a bribe-taker. I am warning him against continuously demanding bribes from people."

Responding to these very serious allegations, Tyson said Cde Fiasco would not get away with the "12 million hectares of land he stole from the State".

"If I demanded the bribe, why didn't he report to the Anti-Corruption Commission? I did not solicit for any bribe from Chiyangwa," said Tyson. "He does not have money. I will never waste my time arguing with him."

Tyson accused Cde Fiasco of corruptly acquiring close to 12 million hectares of land from local authorities and that he (as the Minister of Local Government) was simply enquiring on how he got such tracts of land.

"Chiyangwa has been corrupting ministry officials and managed to steal almost 12 million hectares of land in this country," he said. "I am merely doing my job. I am trying to inquire on how he acquired the land and he is trying to cover up for his criminality."

The popinjay show aside, there is a very serious scandal here, if you ask Dr CZ… Tyson appears to have a valid point… how did the brother from Zvimba acquire so much land for himself (to become an Oppenheimer of sorts!) when every other Zimbo is struggling to get even a square inch of the prime resource — for which life and limb was lost?

How more indigenous is Cde Fiasco that he becomes the typical Orwellian case of being more equal than others? We remember a number of people — including black businessman like him such as Tawanda Nyambirai and others — losing vast farms to the State because that indigenous excuse failed to hold any water… and the courts even ruled that their dispossession was part of a lawful land reform programme… so what makes Cde Fiasco's case so special that he cannot join all other land owners whose land the State seized for the benefit of the landless majority? What developments did he put on that land for which he is demanding compensation?

It is people like these who make this country a walking scandal that it is.


Zimbabwe Cross-border Traders Association owner, Cde Killer Zivhu, who a few years back did time for stealing from his followers, is now all over the show again. He is spearheading the vote-catching gimmick being pushed under the threat of US$15 million to cross-border traders. A political commissar in his own right, he is moving from one locality to another, registering the gullible poor who are being promised the funds… provided they vote right.

Cde Zivhu was recently in the news promising his followers that an arrangement has been worked out with the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe (RBZ) which will see cross-border traders — of all people in this country — being allowed to use their international banking cards to transact for up to US$100 000 every time they are outside the country.

The truth that Dr CZ and all other alert citizens are alive to is that the RBZ is actually struggling to honour the country's basic foreign payment commitments, so one should believe Cde Zivhu at their own stupidity. Why would a country that is struggling to revive its own industries, even going to the extent of introducing a law banning and restricting imports, try to promote cross-border traders, whose primary business is to flood the country with goods and services originating from other countries? Only this week, we were told that by June, a new law would have been put in place compelling government and local firms to buy locally produced goods.

Meanwhile, reports reaching Dr CZ are to the effect that some assets belonging to Cde Zivhu's Zimbabwe Amalgamated Housing Association (ZAHA) were attached by the Sheriff over an undisclosed debt. Is this the man that the owners of this country can trust with money for onward distribution to the poor?


At the weekend, the Zimbabwe Broadcasting Corporation (ZBC) was launching nine television news bulletins in local languages to bring the total so far to 12. Fine and dandy! Our only worry is that the broadcaster has just one TV channel… which then brings to the fore the question of how the targeted viewers will be able to know when to tune in for news in their own language! One may need to sit in front of the TV the whole day and whole night just to get a particular news bulletin.

Anyway, this is not a country and a half for nothing.

Dr CZ has banned his children from learning any vernacular languages as if their lives depend on them because they are useless… the purpose of a language is to communicate… and learning a language for reasons other than communicating is sentimental baggage that children ought never be burdened with. Maybe one needs to convince Dr CZ through diagrams, graphs and pie charts what value mastering some of these fast vanishing languages brings to a person who is trying to fit perfectly in this global village. Yes, learning China's Mandarin, French, Portuguese, Arabic, Spanish and some such global languages open vistas of opportunities for people, but we are not sure if the same can be said about some of the languages that were are trying to preserve in this country.


This week South Africa's Police Minister, Fikile Mbalula, wagged an accusing finger at some ex-members of the Zimbabwe military, accusing them of being the masterminds behind some of the most violent crimes in that country.

"There are people who come here from Zimbabwe, and they cross the line here. They run away from the military in Zimbabwe and they come here and promote criminality here in South Africa. There are Zimbabwean ex-soldiers who are in this country, robbing banks and promoting criminality. They are running away from uncle Bob there," Mbalula told journalists at a media briefing in Pretoria.

"They are on the payroll of criminals, and we can not trace them. If a South African steals, it is easy to trace them because I will find you somewhere in the forensics because I have your fingerprints. I've got you all covered, South Africans…. Then there is a group of these criminals who come from the army. They come into this country – they rob, they terrorise, and they kill. That is what they do. So we arrest them. We have got them."

Mbalula said there were, however, other very good and law-abiding Zimbos, including highly-educated ones such as doctors, who were earning an honest living from doing some menial jobs there, including working in kitchens.

As a super-patriot, Dr CZ is not going to comment on this one.

Just talking!

At the weekend, Home Affairs Minister, Cde Ignatius Chombo, who is also the Zanu-PF secretary for administration, was at a field day in his Zvimba North constituency where he was warning all and sundry that there is no white collar job that can be as rewarding as farming. From the video clips we saw, the white-haired man — which is a sign of great wisdom — was touring the dry maize fields in a designer suit complete with a tie! Certainly, we can not blame the brother because it is the fault of the British imperialists that completely brainwashed him so thoroughly that without a formal suit he feels stark naked.

To drive the point home, this is what Cde George Charamba said recently when people appeared shocked that his boss had attended the African Economic Platform Summit in Mauritius dressed in a casual outfit: "The trouble is that we are so schooled in British dress etiquette that any departure from it amounts to scruffiness and its more interesting that the President was putting on a Cuban shirt. In their estimates, those critics' estimates, anything that departs from British sartorial tradition passes for scruffiness. That's how colonised we are."

Source - fingaz
All articles and letters published on Bulawayo24 have been independently written by members of Bulawayo24's community. The views of users published on Bulawayo24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Bulawayo24. Bulawayo24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.