Sex vital in marriage

YES, I know that some marriages are in the midst of incredible painful circumstances, wrought by the January disease, betrayal, miscommunication or deep unresolved problems and I do get that things are complicated right now but please do not sexually starve each other in the name of fixing each other.

If you have issues, do the courageous thing, bring the issues out in the light and commit to reaching a place of forgiveness, healing and strengthened resolve to treat one another better and enjoy your sex life.

Marriage may not always be blissful but I think the best way to beat the blues is to stay faithful to your partner.

So this man defends the idea of having extra- marital affairs and he says his side dish gives him mind-blowing sex and here I am thinking mind-blowing sex is definitely two ways.

If it has to blow your mind then it should blow hers too and it's about both partners blowing each other away.

What got people talking was the fact that one man said his wife is a devoted Christian in and out of the bedroom whatever that means, that is a first.

Sex is one of the greatest gifts of being human, and it has an incredible power to teach us about what it means to be a human.

To feel swamped with desire is essentially a human experience. Being undressed not only physically but emotionally with another person challenges us to find within ourselves the charity to see ourselves through our beloved's eyes rather than being convinced that we have fooled them.

Physical intimacy offers us a chance to truly let go, to live in the moment, to be utterly authentic. Sex is for everyone, and it is meant to be enjoyed by every married person and it is something to which everyone in a marriage is entitled to.

Sex should not be about "scoring" or entitlement. People should take joy in partnering with their partners to create arousal, joy, relaxation and to use all of those sexual pleasures to build their marriage.

We all have the opportunity to learn from sex at each stage in our development as adults, from first love to geriatric hanky-panky, but for sex to be a life-long teacher we must see it as such and want to learn from it.

Some of the best lessons come long after our butts have sagged or when some young energetic person has lured our partner in bed and they are spending less time in their own matrimonial bed.

I think for sex to be our teacher, we must divest ourselves of our ego and embrace our humanity as human beings.

When sexually-starved and frustrated some partners are more likely to engage in casual sex if they are exposed to erotic and mind-blowing sex, I mean if one is subjected to boring sex they are likely to try out fun and exciting ways of thoroughly enjoying sex.

Some people often think that marriage is a ticket to relaxation and forget that they need to nurture their marriage in every sphere.

Many married people do not intend to have casual sex, but would be willing to do so if presented with the opportunity that helps them feel good.

Here is the sad truth about conservatism. It holds that our humanity and need for sexual pleasures is a bad thing, and that it is the nature of people to do good only when they must. That kind of cynicism makes us less attractive as partners in marriages as we sometimes neglect the most important thing in a marriage.

If you have been denying your partner and yourself sex and if this is the norm in your marriage then I humbly encourage you to stop lying to yourself.

Stop telling yourself that sex is not a big deal in a marriage because news flash, it is and my advice to you is have more sex.

One man said he can draw up a list of the number of times he has had to go without sex because his wife would deny him his conjugal rights and I personally think it is sad.

A man who produces a list of when his wife has denied him sex is the same sort of man who is unlikely to continue sex after it has stopped being about the conquest of hot women or about stroking his ego and after it has stopped being as enjoyable for him as it once was, this just kills something in the inside and I do not wish this on anyone.

I do not condone cheating but I know cheating is inevitable but you can curb cheating by making sure you cater for your partner's needs.

One man said he checks in with his wife to see what they can do together to solve this mutual sexual problem. He assumes that his wife is the same sexual person that she has always been, and that her avoidance of sex is a symptom of a problem with her emotionally or physically or that there is a serious problem in their relationship.

He does not assume that she is "making excuses" to deprive him of something that is rightfully his. Instead of becoming defensive or offensive, he has remained curious and concerned.

I honestly wish everyone out there could try talking to their partner making sure they are all happy with their sex life.

Let's keep talking email auntycharity14@gmail.com.