Love, Sex and Money: Blow his mind out

THIS week we had an exciting chat about giving a blow job and it dawned on me that most people get it all wrong. One honest lady sparked the debate as she admitted she is hell bent on pleasing her man but has no idea on how to give a blow job that will have him losing his mind.

In another e-mail a certain man complained about how he is deprived of what he would love to experience as he only hears about it from his friends because his wife is not too keen on trying out new things. Well, ladies you should never be embarrassed to try out new things in your bedroom. Remember in one of my articles I urged you to take charge and be in control of your bedroom.

For established and professionals oral sex can be one of the most empowering things to do because you are taking charge of his pleasure, but giving good head isn't rocket science. Blow job is an odd and misleading phrase, because you don't blow, you suck, and if it's work you enjoy, it's hardly a job as suggested by the term and while it's called a blow job there is no blowing involved, do not make that mistake!

What really sets it apart in the misty and fascinating world of sexual slang is that it's relatively familiar with the new generation. To make him go weak at the knees, when giving him a blow job linger on the parts of his anatomy that are particularly sensitive. Giving your man a blow job makes him a passenger, and there is a good chance he will love it because you are in control while he lies back, closes his eyes, maybe stares at the ceiling, and trusts you to spoil him.

This is an opportunity for you to explore and try different techniques: one hand, two hands, no hands, speed up, slow down, stop, start, build up and tease. Listen to his reactions and play to them. Forget everything you just read and do it your own way. Sure there are little tips and tricks you can pick up and try, but there's just no substitute for experimentation and good communication.

As a rule, oral sex should imitate the movements of full sex penetration so when you try the blow job blow like a pro and make sure you have plenty saliva in your mouth or lots of fluid. Lick, suck and play with him using your tongue, don't be shy to make eye contact too. To make sure you are hitting the spot and doing it right, watch and listen to his reactions. Ask him what he likes, all men are different and he will be thrilled that you want to know exactly how to please him.

Of all the blow job tips one can get, making sure there is enough lubrication is the easiest but possibly the most important.

Making it wet for him means that it's going to feel a lot juicier and sensual which means that his orgasm will feel a lot stronger and more enjoyable when he does reach orgasm. If you naturally produce a lot of saliva, then you are off to a great start at making your oral sex a wetter experience. But if you don't (or if you want to make it even wetter) then you should consider using flavoured lube on him. Alternatively, if you want it to taste even better, then try whipped cream or even some syrup.

One thing men don't like is mechanical oral sex, performed without passion. He wants to know that you're enjoying it as much as him, so vary your rhythm, speed and intensity. Try gently caressing and then try upping the pace for a few strokes. Take him to the edge then bring him back from the brink to get him revved up and eager for more. The number one thing that you should avoid when giving your man head is . . . using your teeth - remember not to graze his "friend" with your teeth, remember when it comes to sucking him off, teeth are never welcome.

His organ is obviously very sensitive, so even accidentally grazing it with your teeth can be incredibly painful for him. And for most men, pain is a turn off. If you find that it's difficult to avoid accidentally grazing his organ with your teeth, then a great technique is to wrap your lips back around your teeth so that they have no chance of coming into contact with his sensitive bits.

You can know all the techniques in the world, but if you don't try them out with your spouse and actually try new sex ideas, then your man is going to get bored and we all know that boredom is a massive relationship killer. You need to be constantly trying new things with your man in the bedroom if you want to keep him satisfied. Keep what works and forget about what doesn't.

Let's keep talking email auntycharity14@gmail.com

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