Opinion / Columnist
I now have a winning team, Cdes
17 Sep 2015 at 05:24hrs | Views
Dear Cabinet and Politburo members
COMRADES, I should admit that I had a real hard time coming up with the final list of people to include in my new-look Cabinet. It took me several weeks to come up with that final list because there is so much talent and skill within the rank and file of the party and that whatever criteria one may come up with, we still have more people qualifying for the posts, far much more in excess of the available positions.
This makes the whole decision-making process a bit tricky. Although I make the final decision on who gets what post and who gets nothing, I have to do it in such a way that will not make some loyalists think that I am running the party and the country on my own.
Every member of the party has rights equal to those of every other member, so when I have to make such appointments, it is important that I do it in a very transparent manner. It becomes a big headache when I have to handpick my helpers from a teeming crowd of party members, all of who qualify for the limited posts.
All our past efforts to increase the number of ministries by splitting some and creating completely new ones - including some with names that most of our people had never heard of - have not helped much because everyday, we keep on discovering fresh talent and rare leadership skills among members of the party… talent that can never be allowed to go to waste. I am sure you all noticed that in my latest appointments, I even appointed a minister without portfolio.
But all these efforts notwithstanding, in the end, one is still forced to make the tough decision of leaving some names out.
This is the burden of any good leader. Too many people die for an opportunity to serve under you. You will know what I am talking of when your time to lead the party and the country comes.
Anyway, without sounding as if I am belittling those that I left out, I think I should say this team is one of the best and I have no misgivings about our ability to implement our 10-point plan in order to more than deliver on targets set out in our blueprint, the Zimbabwe Agenda for Sustainable Socio-Economic Transformation.
Still on blueprints, I notice those sell-outs that expelled themselves from our party are also issuing out blueprints. Well, I do not want to dignify them by commenting on that rubbish - I have better employments for my time and strength than giving my attention to that topic. What I can just tell you is that when that document was brought to my attention, I just laughed. I asked myself on which planet do that gang dream to implement those zany ideas! Anyway, one of the things we fought for is the freedom to dream, so no one will try to interfere with those dreaming dreamers' right to dream as much as they want, for as long as they remain careful that their dreams remain exactly that - dreams!
Cdes I should admit that I am so pleased that our gospel is bringing home more and more new converts, some of them our erstwhile detractors. Have you seen how of late that chap Madhuku - who once got me scared after I took his threat of taking me head-on literary - and the portly Majongwe have been taking every opportunity that come their way to sing praises for me and the party? They have been converted… all that needs to be done is to baptise them so they can assume the revolutionary title Comrade. There is nothing really new about this. Isn't this the same path Cde Jonah travelled to be where he is today?
Last week, the Americans were at it again… making lots of noises as they commemorated 9/11.
Anyone who cares to read will find ample evidence that the criminal that is George Bush staged an invasion on his country in order to get an excuse to launch a war of aggression against the world in the name of fighting terrorism.
Those people are shameless!
Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME
...AND DR CZ'S NOTEBOOK
Wonderful
Dr CZ is now very sure that the 2,2 million job creation target that ZANU-PF threatened in its election manifesto is safely within reach. With the 14 Cabinet appointments, comes the need for other supporting mandarins etc, etc… which means the queue would move forward.
Had Dr CZ been aware that the sinecure post of Minister Without Portfolio was back; he would have lobbied seriously to land this one. Some fans were asking Yours Truly what the holder of this portfolio exactly does, whether he sits in Cabinet, whether he needs any physical office etc…. the honest answer is that Dr CZ does not know. We hope when some fathers arrive home, there would be no naughty children to ask silly-sounding questions!
Revealing
Dr CZ found the following statement while he was reading: "When you're dead, you don't know that you're dead. It's difficult only for everyone else. It's the same when you're stupid."
We are told that Harare mayor Bernard Manyenyeni is in trouble for allegedly "insulting" councillors as ignorant and illiterate, blah, blah.
This illiterate conclusion was inferred from the mayor's personal opinion that people who run for these public offices should have some basic education that would put them in a better stead to be useful in the face of challenges of intellectual nature.
It appears like the mayor did not need to adduce any examples to prove his argument about the said stunted intellectual capacity because some councillors came to his aid by volunteering to display how dangerous functional illiteracy really is.
The illiterate councillors huddled and agreed that the best way of dealing with their illiteracy is to move a vote of no confidence against the mayor. Dear, reader, kindly do not ask Dr CZ how Manyenyeni's ouster would transmogrify the councillors from intellectual dwarfs to intellectual heavyweights! They just agreed that by kicking the mayor from town house, they would suddenly be able to read and understand those legalistic documents, those winding financial statements, those graphs and diagrams as well as some of the council minutes and other documents that are presented to them?
Or did they honestly wish to be called educated when a majority of them can barely tell their left from right? What excuse does an adult have for being uneducated in this day and age?
So much about the democratic dictatorship of mediocrity!
Suggestion
A fan suggested that Dr CZ uses his patriotic influence to get the government to demand that liquor manufacturers include the following set of warnings on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are shouting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you, when infact they are laughing at you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your behind kicked.
cznotebook@yahoo.co.uk
COMRADES, I should admit that I had a real hard time coming up with the final list of people to include in my new-look Cabinet. It took me several weeks to come up with that final list because there is so much talent and skill within the rank and file of the party and that whatever criteria one may come up with, we still have more people qualifying for the posts, far much more in excess of the available positions.
This makes the whole decision-making process a bit tricky. Although I make the final decision on who gets what post and who gets nothing, I have to do it in such a way that will not make some loyalists think that I am running the party and the country on my own.
Every member of the party has rights equal to those of every other member, so when I have to make such appointments, it is important that I do it in a very transparent manner. It becomes a big headache when I have to handpick my helpers from a teeming crowd of party members, all of who qualify for the limited posts.
All our past efforts to increase the number of ministries by splitting some and creating completely new ones - including some with names that most of our people had never heard of - have not helped much because everyday, we keep on discovering fresh talent and rare leadership skills among members of the party… talent that can never be allowed to go to waste. I am sure you all noticed that in my latest appointments, I even appointed a minister without portfolio.
But all these efforts notwithstanding, in the end, one is still forced to make the tough decision of leaving some names out.
This is the burden of any good leader. Too many people die for an opportunity to serve under you. You will know what I am talking of when your time to lead the party and the country comes.
Anyway, without sounding as if I am belittling those that I left out, I think I should say this team is one of the best and I have no misgivings about our ability to implement our 10-point plan in order to more than deliver on targets set out in our blueprint, the Zimbabwe Agenda for Sustainable Socio-Economic Transformation.
Still on blueprints, I notice those sell-outs that expelled themselves from our party are also issuing out blueprints. Well, I do not want to dignify them by commenting on that rubbish - I have better employments for my time and strength than giving my attention to that topic. What I can just tell you is that when that document was brought to my attention, I just laughed. I asked myself on which planet do that gang dream to implement those zany ideas! Anyway, one of the things we fought for is the freedom to dream, so no one will try to interfere with those dreaming dreamers' right to dream as much as they want, for as long as they remain careful that their dreams remain exactly that - dreams!
Cdes I should admit that I am so pleased that our gospel is bringing home more and more new converts, some of them our erstwhile detractors. Have you seen how of late that chap Madhuku - who once got me scared after I took his threat of taking me head-on literary - and the portly Majongwe have been taking every opportunity that come their way to sing praises for me and the party? They have been converted… all that needs to be done is to baptise them so they can assume the revolutionary title Comrade. There is nothing really new about this. Isn't this the same path Cde Jonah travelled to be where he is today?
Last week, the Americans were at it again… making lots of noises as they commemorated 9/11.
Anyone who cares to read will find ample evidence that the criminal that is George Bush staged an invasion on his country in order to get an excuse to launch a war of aggression against the world in the name of fighting terrorism.
Those people are shameless!
Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME
...AND DR CZ'S NOTEBOOK
Wonderful
Dr CZ is now very sure that the 2,2 million job creation target that ZANU-PF threatened in its election manifesto is safely within reach. With the 14 Cabinet appointments, comes the need for other supporting mandarins etc, etc… which means the queue would move forward.
Had Dr CZ been aware that the sinecure post of Minister Without Portfolio was back; he would have lobbied seriously to land this one. Some fans were asking Yours Truly what the holder of this portfolio exactly does, whether he sits in Cabinet, whether he needs any physical office etc…. the honest answer is that Dr CZ does not know. We hope when some fathers arrive home, there would be no naughty children to ask silly-sounding questions!
Revealing
Dr CZ found the following statement while he was reading: "When you're dead, you don't know that you're dead. It's difficult only for everyone else. It's the same when you're stupid."
We are told that Harare mayor Bernard Manyenyeni is in trouble for allegedly "insulting" councillors as ignorant and illiterate, blah, blah.
This illiterate conclusion was inferred from the mayor's personal opinion that people who run for these public offices should have some basic education that would put them in a better stead to be useful in the face of challenges of intellectual nature.
It appears like the mayor did not need to adduce any examples to prove his argument about the said stunted intellectual capacity because some councillors came to his aid by volunteering to display how dangerous functional illiteracy really is.
The illiterate councillors huddled and agreed that the best way of dealing with their illiteracy is to move a vote of no confidence against the mayor. Dear, reader, kindly do not ask Dr CZ how Manyenyeni's ouster would transmogrify the councillors from intellectual dwarfs to intellectual heavyweights! They just agreed that by kicking the mayor from town house, they would suddenly be able to read and understand those legalistic documents, those winding financial statements, those graphs and diagrams as well as some of the council minutes and other documents that are presented to them?
Or did they honestly wish to be called educated when a majority of them can barely tell their left from right? What excuse does an adult have for being uneducated in this day and age?
So much about the democratic dictatorship of mediocrity!
Suggestion
A fan suggested that Dr CZ uses his patriotic influence to get the government to demand that liquor manufacturers include the following set of warnings on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are shouting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you, when infact they are laughing at you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your behind kicked.
cznotebook@yahoo.co.uk
Source - fingaz
All articles and letters published on Bulawayo24 have been independently written by members of Bulawayo24's community. The views of users published on Bulawayo24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Bulawayo24. Bulawayo24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
