Where art thou my child if you are my child?

If ever you were born, you were born during the year 2000 in January or February. Your mother said I wasn't the father, your father was  the other guy who she was also involved with at the same time I was involved with her. I have my doubts which is why I can't stop thinking about you.

I have never seen you as I haven't seen your mother since June of 1999. Here is what happened. Me and your mum were both college students at Harare Polytechnic College, she doing a marketing course and me a library and information science one. We were in love or so I thought.

There was trouble with students demonstrating against a number of issues students are still angry about up to now like how the politicians run the country and fees. The government ordered the college closed and when it opened your mum didn't come back.

Back then the fastest way we poor people communicated was not through Whatsapp or Facebook, those didn't exist back then so we used  letters. I wrote your mum but got no reply. I asked her friends what was wrong that had caused her to drop out of college and got no clear answers but suppressed smiles that mocked me like they were saying "don't you know?".

So I did the next best thing we used to communicate back then, that is, take the bus and go and see your mum at her home. I didn't know the place but I had the address and as a disguise I carried a book that would explain my being at her home. I was a friend returning a book to a classmate otherwise her father and brother could do serious bodily damage on me for the disrespect of just walking into their yard unannounced and for no sound reason. Saying you're are the boyfriend is not a good enough reason and might get you beaten more.


I found the address soon enough and opened the gate with a heavy heart and as I was going around the house as most of our people use the back door I met her. She looked surprised and said  "Veap, what are you doing here? Please let's leave before you get me in trouble with my mom who is here and later with my dad".

So as quickly as I had got into the yard I was also being escorted out but this time I was happy because I had seen my girlfriend your mum who was walking besides me. My happiness was short-lived because as soon as we had walked out and I had asked the question of why she had not yet been back to college did I get the bad news.

Firstly she told me she wasn't coming back to college and secondly she told me she was getting married. I was gutted. When I asked how and why she told me the guy had made her pregnant. When I asked if she was sure the pregnancy wasn't mine she was emphatic it was the other older guy who was already working who had made her pregnant. To cut a story short they got married quickly and then like lots of Zimbabweans then moved to the UK were you were born.

So even if I have never met you and don't know if you are male or female I think about you and wonder. I also wonder if your mom is still alive or if she gave birth to twins. My thoughts are jumbled up I know as I wonder if  the blood that runs through your veins is the same as the blood that runs in mine.


P.S. This is a work of fiction or not!

Velempini Ndlovu is a freelance photographer who is based in Johannesburg. He can be reached on veapndlovu@gmail.com