'My husband accepted my HIV+ status'

"I spent three months without telling my husband and I pretended to have a problem of continuous bleeding to make sure that we did not sleep together. I knew if I was to ask him for protected sexual intercourse, he was going to ask me a lot of questions, which would disclose my status."

It was not easy for Mrs Mere Tamiya Huseni (50) to disclose her HIV status to her husband as the results were not as expected.

She thought her husband's HIV status was automatically the same as hers, but things turned out differently.

"My husband was the first one to be tested for HIV back in 2000 while he was at work here in Kadoma. I remember during that time, trained counsellors used to move around in many companies offering HIV testing and counselling to willing workers.

"He tested HIV negative and came back home with his result slip and I was so excited about his status that I thought it was an obvious case that I too was HIV-negative," narrated Mrs

Huseni, is a district community focal person for Zimbabwe National Network of People living with HIV (ZNNP+)  in Kadoma.

"The following week after I saw my husband's results, my husband also encouraged me to go and get tested and I visited the New Start Centre the following week. I went there with so much confidence that I never had any room for disappointments," narrated Mrs Huseni.

"When the nurse showed me my results, I was so shocked that I forgot all I had learned from the counselling sessions. I was scared of losing my marriage and I didn't know how to tell my husband about my status.

"The nurse advised me to get a CD4 count test to see if I could be initiated on anti-retroviral therapy and the results showed that my CD4 count was 48. I was initiated on ART the same day but, deep down my heart I was still in disbelief."

She said she was in a dilemma because she thought disclosing her status was going to break her marriage — but on the other hand, she did not want to infect her husband.

"I spent three months without telling my husband and I pretended to have a problem of continuous bleeding to make sure that we did not sleep together. I knew if I was to ask him for protected sexual intercourse, he was going to ask me a lot of questions, which would disclose my status," added Mrs Huseni.

"Every time he wanted to be intimate with me I would remind him of my bleeding condition. However, one day, my husband was looking for his keys and I asked him to check for them in my handbag which had my ARVs and also my result slip. When I asked him to get my bag I had totally forgotten that my pills and my result slip were inside.

"He called me to our bedroom and asked me to explain why I had ARVs in my bag. I just broke into tears and couldn't control myself but he was gentle and asked me to stop crying and said it was going to be alright."

Mrs Huseni said her husband also gave her some counselling and told her that he would continue loving her as he had done the last 35 years.

The couple has five children and eight grandchildren.

The two have been having protected sex and Mrs Huseni said she was getting a lot of support from her husband who always encouraged her to adhere to treatment.

"The main reason why my husband was so understanding about my status and continued loving me is because he has been also working with community health workers and understands the issues of HIV and Aids. I am grateful that God gave me such an understanding husband," said Mrs Huseni.

"We are not concerned about having children. In fact in 1995 I went through surgery after I developed some fibroids. Last year I had my uterus removed because the fibroids had developed in the uterus again."

Today, Mrs Huseni is a volunteer working with community groups that helps women living with HIV.

National Aids Council monitoring and evaluation director Mr Amon Mpofu encouraged married couples to go for HIV testing and counselling together.

"We have had many cases where couples go for HIV testing individually but fail to disclose their status in a civilised manner.

"Many have been violent and end up assaulting each other while blaming each other for being promiscuous. Therefore, we advise couples to go together for testing and counselling," said Mr Mpofu.

"By going together they can at least receive counselling at once and have some common ground of understanding each other."

He said discordant couples should use condoms properly and consistently to avoid HIV transmission.

ZNPP+ advocacy and communications officer Mr Edmore Mutimodyo urged discordant couples to consult health experts if they wanted to have children.