Divorce never an option even if spouse brings HIV+

Marriage is often described as a sacred, lifelong union - a commitment made in joy and sorrow, in health and in sickness, until death parts husband and wife. Yet for many couples, the marital journey can become a battleground rather than a sanctuary.

The marital bedroom, which should be a place of intimacy, trust and unity, can sometimes become a space of emotional distance and unresolved conflict. When communication breaks down and resentment builds, the foundation of the relationship is shaken long before separation or divorce is formally considered.

Sex is an important component of many marriages. It strengthens emotional connection and reinforces commitment. However, intimacy must be rooted in mutual respect, communication and care. When either partner feels neglected, unheard or emotionally disconnected, it can create vulnerability in the relationship.

It is important to stress that no one is ever responsible for another person's decision to be unfaithful. Infidelity is a personal choice. However, couples are encouraged to address dissatisfaction openly and seek counselling or guidance before problems escalate.

When HIV enters a marriage, emotions such as anger, betrayal and fear often surface. In such circumstances, open dialogue, testing, counselling and medical support are critical. Blame alone does not heal. Understanding, accountability and access to treatment do.

Today, with proper medical care, people living with HIV can lead long, healthy lives. Early testing, adherence to antiretroviral therapy and mutual support between partners make a significant difference.

Extramarital relationships may appear appealing in moments of emotional or physical dissatisfaction, but they often carry serious consequences - including broken trust, family instability and exposure to sexually transmitted infections.

Short-term gratification can lead to long-term pain. Rebuilding trust after infidelity is possible, but it requires honesty, remorse, counselling and consistent effort from both parties.

For some couples, discovering an HIV-positive status leads to immediate thoughts of divorce. The sense of betrayal can feel overwhelming. In some cases, separation may indeed be the healthiest option, particularly where abuse or repeated dishonesty is involved.

However, decisions made in intense anger or humiliation can later bring regret. Each couple's situation is unique. Seeking professional counselling, medical advice and spiritual or family guidance can help individuals make informed and thoughtful decisions rather than reactive ones.

It is also important to avoid gender-based double standards. Society often judges women more harshly than men for sexual misconduct. Such attitudes deepen stigma and harm rather than promote healing.

The writer reflects on his own journey - acknowledging past mistakes and taking responsibility for bringing HIV into his marriage. He credits his wife's decision to stay and work through the pain as an act of strength and grace. Over time, with treatment and mutual effort, their marriage survived and evolved.

While not every couple will choose the same path, their story underscores the power of forgiveness, accountability and resilience.

Marriage is complex. It requires constant effort, humility and growth. Whether couples choose to stay together or part ways, decisions should be made carefully, with respect for personal dignity, health and long-term wellbeing.

In matters of love, trust and health, wisdom often comes from experience - and from learning not only from our victories, but also from our scars.