Opinion / Columnist
Would you pay millions for a wife!
23 Jun 2011 at 14:55hrs | Views
For such couples and others who cannot marry because of the excessive demands, marriage in modern Zimbabwe is rapidly becoming an economic relationship in which the choice of a wife depends on the man's ability to pay rather than mutual respect and love between a man and a woman.
They are concerned that only rich suitors will be able to get wives. Many a young, struggling single man has a lot to worry about.
He has to demonstrate to his girlfriend's parents that he has the ability to care for her by his intelligence, diligence, and success in making the most of the opportunities that come his way. This will be in the form of true wealth to pay the expensive dowry that they demand.
"In modern society, paying bride price is evidence that the man is serious about his intentions to make the marriage stable. It also demonstrates that the husband-to-be is capable of caring for and supporting a wife.
"It also makes the bride feel that she is worth "something" and that her husband considers her valuable. It is a modern proof of love. So a man who wants to marry a modern woman should be prepared to demonstrate his love with his wallet," says an anthropologist based in Bulawayo.
And as bride price soars, haggling and bargaining have found their way into the negotiations. This ideology of putting money first, according to some women's rights activists, is destroying the love and respect that ought to characterise future relationships between the families of the couple. They add that it also contributes to abuse of women by rich men.
"The modern dowry process encourages wealthy husbands to treat their wives any way they wish because they have 'paid' for them. It also makes the woman to consider herself virtually a slave to such a husband.
"Many parents do not encourage their daughters in such marriages to resist injustice because they fear that they may be asked to return the bride price.
"In other words, the dowry system contributes to the degradation of women in society," says Mrs Sikhangezile Gumede, a women's rights activist in Bulawayo.
Some people believe that bride price is the ultimate symbol of marriage. Whether it is money, a house, or a couple of cows, a man has to prove his worth in one way or another to both the woman and her family.
But observers say that in the modern world, marriage is becoming a means of wealth accumulation due to the monetisation of the dowry.
They are concerned that only rich suitors will be able to get wives. Many a young, struggling single man has a lot to worry about.
He has to demonstrate to his girlfriend's parents that he has the ability to care for her by his intelligence, diligence, and success in making the most of the opportunities that come his way. This will be in the form of true wealth to pay the expensive dowry that they demand.
"In modern society, paying bride price is evidence that the man is serious about his intentions to make the marriage stable. It also demonstrates that the husband-to-be is capable of caring for and supporting a wife.
"It also makes the bride feel that she is worth "something" and that her husband considers her valuable. It is a modern proof of love. So a man who wants to marry a modern woman should be prepared to demonstrate his love with his wallet," says an anthropologist based in Bulawayo.
"The modern dowry process encourages wealthy husbands to treat their wives any way they wish because they have 'paid' for them. It also makes the woman to consider herself virtually a slave to such a husband.
"Many parents do not encourage their daughters in such marriages to resist injustice because they fear that they may be asked to return the bride price.
"In other words, the dowry system contributes to the degradation of women in society," says Mrs Sikhangezile Gumede, a women's rights activist in Bulawayo.
Some people believe that bride price is the ultimate symbol of marriage. Whether it is money, a house, or a couple of cows, a man has to prove his worth in one way or another to both the woman and her family.
But observers say that in the modern world, marriage is becoming a means of wealth accumulation due to the monetisation of the dowry.
Source - Bridegroom
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