Search / Bishop lazarus
A curse that will forever haunt Zimbabwe opposition
THOSE of us who grew up in the village know that nothing can be as foul-smelling as a skunk.It literally stinks to high heaven.By some freak of nature, these cat-sized black-and-white ...Published: 02 Jul 2023 at 07:40hrs | 15 | by Bishop Lazi
Writing's on the bright yellow wall
The Bishop is back.What a restful, restorative and therapeutic sabbatical it was!Once in a while, it is quite helpful to extricate ourselves from the maddening rush of our manic lifest...Published: 15 Jan 2023 at 09:38hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazi
We must prepare for the coming 'war'
From tomorrow until Wednesday, the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) will be mourning Patrice Lumumba - the country's first democratically elected prime minister - who was slain 61 years ago in the g...Published: 26 Jun 2022 at 08:08hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazi
Chamisa must sleep with one eye open
Elections always unfailingly produce rare and curious political creatures and species.You might think you have seen it all only for another election cycle to remind you that you ain't seen not...Published: 20 Feb 2022 at 08:49hrs | 8 | by Bishop Lazi
The last great war might have begun
The tongue can be a powerful weapon.It can build and destroy. It also can excite, spite and incite.And when a sharp tongue is mixed with potent ideas, it is easy to concoct a nuclear w...Published: 16 Jan 2022 at 08:50hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazi
A chain is as strong as its weakest link
The Bishop's heart always bleeds each time he thinks about Ethiopia, the land of brave men and women who valiantly frustrated Italy's imperial designs in the 20th century, making it difficult for colo...Published: 05 Dec 2021 at 06:08hrs | 14 | by Bishop Lazarus
We need new heroes!
Sometimes, Bishop Lazi is glad that his uncle is dead.The man was never the same ever since returning from the war.He was no longer the bubbly and chatty young man who revelled in the ...Published: 08 Aug 2021 at 07:16hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
Elections have already been rigged
IN rural areas, men and women, just as cattle and donkeys, are beasts of burden.Life doesn't come cheap and easy in the village.Success also often comes from or after unavoidable physi...Published: 25 Apr 2021 at 07:17hrs | | by Staff reporter
Churches suspend Easter gatherings
Churches will not be hosting their traditional large Easter processions and gatherings, keeping the number attending each service to below the 50 limit imposed by Government under lockdown rules. ...Published: 01 Apr 2021 at 06:55hrs | 3 | by Staff reporter
No Easter conferences for churches
CHURCHES will not hold conferences usually held during the Easter period but will resort to virtual meetings with only a limited number of congregants gathering on Sunday. Church leaders yeste...Published: 31 Mar 2021 at 06:33hrs | 1 | by Staff reporter
5 000 teens impregnated in two months
NEARLY 5 000 teenage girls got pregnant while close to 2 000 were married off in the first two months of the year, in what experts believe was a result of idleness and school closures caused by the Co...Published: 14 Mar 2021 at 06:09hrs | 2 | by Staff reporter
The bane of deadbeat intellectuals
Talent seems to come with more than its fair share of baggage.Most often than not, gifted personalities belong to a pantheon of living gods that wow the world during their time in the limeligh...Published: 21 Feb 2021 at 06:58hrs | 15 | by Bishop Lazarus
Social media driving us to doomsday
Bishop Lazi is convinced that nostalgia is a timeless disease.It is normally associated with selective amnesia and the romanticisation of cherished memories.This is why it is unsurpris...Published: 31 Jan 2021 at 06:51hrs | | by Bishop Lazarue
When local authorities become hopeless laggards
IF Bishop Lazarus' great-grandfather were to rise from the dead today God forbid! The man was just an unbearably torturous disciplinarianhe would pretty much be able to figure his way around Harare....Published: 13 Dec 2020 at 07:56hrs | 13 | by Bishoo Lazarus
Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones
Before the July 30 elections in 2018, MDC Alliance's swashbuckling and technophile public relations machine nourishingly fed us the optics of what we were told were the makings of a political tsunami ...Published: 30 Aug 2020 at 08:26hrs | 2 | by Staff reporter
Lies run sprints, truth runs marathons
They say time heals even the deepest of scars, but not for Bishop Lazarus.And they say everything — absolutely everything and anything — has a price, but not this man of scripture and pray...Published: 01 Sep 2019 at 14:33hrs | 5 | by Bishop Lazi
The gnashing of teeth is nigh
The nature of Bishop Lazi's job, which often involves endlessly counselling the stricken, the infirm, the indisposed and the emotionally wounded, naturally makes him a couch potato, especially during ...Published: 07 Jul 2019 at 21:01hrs | 2 | by Bishop Lazi
The bane of rabid, frenzied media
Again, dear reader, if ever you are in doubt, if ever you are confused, if ever you need a moral compass, or whenever you find yourself agreeing with Jonathan Moyo, you should know that you are close ...Published: 16 Jun 2019 at 09:35hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
Comeuppance for Gucci comrades
Most people clumsily stumble through life thinking that intelligence is similar to wisdom.Well, it isn't!Intelligence is natural, but wisdom is preternatural. Similarly, while intellig...Published: 09 Jun 2019 at 08:08hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazi
An abiding tortoise of White House goons
Politics, as an existential science, can be characteristically hot, heavy and heady.In its very extreme form, politics can be similar to religious fundamentalism, where it becomes a matter of ...Published: 02 Jun 2019 at 08:18hrs | | by Bishop Lazi
We continue to be anglicised bastards
There is a hauntingly true African proverb that claims that unless the lion learns how to write, every story will always glorify the hunter.here is a hauntingly true African proverb that claim...Published: 26 May 2019 at 13:36hrs | | by Bishpop Lazarus
We must flash out all the sloths
Hairdressers of Natpharm head honchos must understandably be worried since they might not be seeing their clients anytime soon, especially after they received quite the "hairdryer treatment" last week...Published: 12 May 2019 at 06:34hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazi
When seers failed to see the Ides of March
Bishop Lazi always tells his followers that as a people, we have been involved in a brutal rat race for the past two decades as we struggled for survival in choppy economic conditions.But the ...Published: 23 Mar 2019 at 22:24hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazi
Loose lips can really sink ships
As Jesus liked his teachings in parables, the Bishop will continue to use intelligible riddles and anecdotes to help you understand the workings of the world, at least as how I understand them....Published: 17 Mar 2019 at 08:31hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazi
Biti, this world will humble you!
Even after having gone through the intellectual rigours of philosophy and theology at seminary, Bishop Lazi still doesn't fancy the nature versus nurture debate.But there is a particularly ine...Published: 10 Mar 2019 at 08:48hrs | 2 | by Bishop Lazi
Rituals and spiritualism, the curse of the MDC
In everyday life when the going gets tough or unbearable and when everything seems to have ground to a halt, people tend to turn to social scientists in the form of witchdoctors, spirit mediums, proph...Published: 06 Mar 2019 at 09:00hrs | 4 | by Elijah Chihota
Please Mthuli, tax these bastards!
"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised."Hallelujah!A story is often told of how Charles Mungoshi was once invited for a book reading of his Sho...Published: 24 Feb 2019 at 06:36hrs | 2 | by Bishop Lazarus
Damn you, Grim Reaper!
Those who grew up in the village, as Bishop Lazi did, know very well that birds and animals of prey hunt by stealth.Eagles are particularly a menace, especially by the regularity with which th...Published: 27 Jan 2019 at 19:01hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazarus
'Mnangagwa, take us back to Egypt!'
Bishop Lazarus had a pleasant revelation on Monday and is seriously considering participating at next year's Olympic Games in Tokyo, Japan.With Usain Bolt happily retired and sipping margarita...Published: 20 Jan 2019 at 09:11hrs | | by Bishop Lazarus
'Chamisa cannot be trusted in the GNU much less to govern,' says ED apologist - true but neither can ED
Those who defend the indefensible are fools and Zanu PF apologists are some of the biggest fools there is. Give a fool a long rope and he will hang himself, so goes the adage. Bishop Lazarus, a season...Published: 19 Aug 2018 at 18:47hrs | 13 | by Patrick Guramatunhu
Let's give Nelson Chamisa the credit
"If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless," says James 1 verse 26. James 3 verse 5 is even more explicit: "The tongue...Published: 05 Aug 2018 at 09:43hrs | 1 | by Bishop
What happens to Chamisa's 18 year-old sister?
DEUTERONOMY 1 vs 13 says: "Choose for your tribes wise, understanding, and experienced men, and I will appoint them as your heads." As Zimbabweans go to vote tomorrow, their choice is very simple: The...Published: 29 Jul 2018 at 09:59hrs | | by Bishop
MDC Alliance: Pitfalls of running without ‘mother's milk of politics'
"DADDY, I think Chamisa will be defeated by ZEC. He can't win this election," my seven-year-old daughter said to me last week. "What do you mean?" I asked her. "Isn't it that Chamisa and ZEC are going...Published: 15 Jul 2018 at 16:48hrs | 1 | by Bishop
Bishop Lazarus of the Sunday Mail column off side
It is now difficult to peddle propaganda in this super-information highwayLet me put it straight that my ego and feelings towards Bishop Lazarus of the Sunday Mail column can't be eroded away ...Published: 09 Jul 2018 at 07:36hrs | 3 | by Leonard Koni
Chamisa: Walking with an umbrella, waiting for the rains
NAPOLEON Bonaparte was really prophetic when he said: "In politics, absurdity is not a handicap." Political developments in Zimbabwe over the past few weeks have shown that indeed, the floodgates of a...Published: 08 Jul 2018 at 12:57hrs | 4 | by Bishop
Is Chamisa working with or for Zanu-PF?
No wonder why some had suggested that little Chamisa instead of being big-headed and seeking glory should have gone for a National Assembly seat instead of vying for the presidency. Of course, this is...Published: 01 Jul 2018 at 08:02hrs | | by Bishop
Chamisa was spot on when he sent Tamborinyoka packing
Little Chamisa was spot on when he sent Luke "Lukezha" Tamborinyoka packing. However, I am not sure he was spot on in taking on board Dr Nkululeko Sibanda. I see lots of turbulence in the coming weeks...Published: 17 Jun 2018 at 10:42hrs | | by Bishop
'Mukupe on his way out'
Deputy Finance minister Terrence Mukupe is on his way out, a shadowy State media columnist who writes under the pseudonym of Bishop Lazarus has said.Writing in yesterday's edition, Bishop Laza...Published: 04 Jun 2018 at 14:45hrs | | by Staff reporter
'Jonathan Moyo plotting A 'Kasukuwere' Return' To Zimbabwe?
Self-exiled Jonathan Moyo is reportedly plotting on his return home after sneaking out of the country during the 'operation restore legacy' invasion last year.The Zimbabwe's former Higher Educ...Published: 04 Jun 2018 at 10:05hrs | | by A Mhlongo
Zanu-PF sellouts: Climb out of your coffins
A lot happened when your Bishop was busy elsewhere. Dear congregants, you deserve my unreserved apology. How can I not apologise — Tyson finally came back home, one Terrance Mkupe went bonkers about...Published: 03 Jun 2018 at 15:05hrs | 1 | by Bishop
Chamisa: From BBC to Alice in Wonderland
Chamisa shifted uncomfortably in the chair that suddenly looked too big for him and he blinked uncontrollably as if to say hamuwoniwo ndichi mudiki, zvakwana.It's very rare for politicians to ...Published: 13 May 2018 at 11:34hrs | 2 | by zimpapers
No Mutsvangwa, that's not the way of a comrade
Clearly, Mutsvangwa has issues with the Lieutenant-General (retired) Rugeje and Mashonaland West Provincial Affairs Minister Webster Shamu, but there are far much better ways of resolving those differ...Published: 06 May 2018 at 09:19hrs | 3 | by Bishop
Mnangagwa and his Ministers are not the story
ABOUT two weeks ago, the permanent secretary in the Ministry of Information, Media and Broadcasting Services and Presidential Press Secretary, Mr George Charamba wrote a thought-provoking article titl...Published: 25 Mar 2018 at 08:52hrs | 2 | by Bishop
Zanu-PF must not fall into the criminal cabal's trap
THE holding of the harmonised elections sometime this year will be the highpoint for judging Operation Restore Legacy and the subsequent events that saw former President Robert Mugabe stepping down fr...Published: 15 Mar 2018 at 05:55hrs | | by Hildegarde
Mnangagwa controlled media turns on Grace Mugabe
State media in Zimbabwe on Sunday rounded on former president Robert Mugabe and his wife Grace, suggesting in one editorial that the military operation that removed Mugabe from power be extended to hi...Published: 12 Mar 2018 at 07:45hrs | 1 | by Staff reporter
How about Operation Restore Legacy at Blue Roof Mansion?
SO much has been happening since the Bishop was away. So, so much! Morgan Tsvangirai was buried with his MDC-T in Buhera. Thokozani Khupe was butchered by hoodlums in the crumbs of what's left of the ...Published: 11 Mar 2018 at 09:19hrs | 5 | by Bishop
Who should be afraid of elections MDC-T or Zanu-PF?
Some will argue saying the MDC-T can spring a surprise in the next few months, but hey, hey lets be very honest – this party failed to take over power with a fit and strong Tsvangirai, why should an...Published: 21 Jan 2018 at 11:22hrs | 3 | by Bishop
Does Jonathan Moyo think Mnangagwa is afraid of Gukurahundi?
SO Professor Jonathan Moyo is convinced that President Mnangagwa is afraid of Gukurahundi? He really thinks the Gukurahundi issue should leave ED paralysed with fear? It's a shame, but that's the tomf...Published: 14 Jan 2018 at 09:28hrs | | by Bishop
Does Jonathan Moyo think Mnangagwa is afraid of Gukurahundi?
SO Professor Jonathan Moyo is convinced that President Mnangagwa is afraid of Gukurahundi? He really thinks the Gukurahundi issue should leave ED paralysed with fear? It's a shame, but that's the tomf...Published: 14 Jan 2018 at 08:11hrs | 1 | by Bishop Lazarus
Jonathan Moyo speaks on whereabouts
Former Higher and Tertiary Education minister Jonathan Moyo (pictured) says he is not holed up in Kenya, but still kept his whereabouts a secret for fear of his life."I'm on Twitter; not in Ke...Published: 10 Jan 2018 at 07:41hrs | 2 | by Staff reporter
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