Opinion / Columnist
Detractors behind Warriors' rebellion, Cdes
12 Jan 2017 at 06:48hrs | Views
Dear Cabinet and Politburo members
COMPLIMENTS of the new season to you all Comrades. I am most pleased to welcome you all to the year of our Lord Two Thousand and Seventeen. I know all of you and all our people had a fantastic festive season and that you are all back at work rejuvenated and ready to ensure that the economic turnaround efforts bring more prosperity to the people.
I am told that there was a mini rebel in our national men soccer team, the Warriors' camp. Just as by now you can all guess, our Anglo-Saxon detractors were behind it. They infiltrated the camp and started spreading lies about how these boys are playing for nothing with senior government officials wasting millions on selfish overseas junkets. What a blue lie! This baseless rumour was not helped by the very sensitive information that this Biti chap recently revealed in blatant disregard of the Official Secrets Act… Cde Pats, and our several other best legal minds, you can help with sound advice on how this dangerously careless chap can be shown, in a practical way, that there is indeed rule of law in this country.
When my wife told me that the new Ghanaian President had invited Morgan to his inauguration, I was not amused at all… you all know that birds of a feather flock together… being both puppets of the West, it was only natural that they behave in the way they did. You have all heard that blood is thicker than water, haven't you?
However, what I did not expect was that Morgan would pass to this new chap in Ghana a plagiarised speech that Harvest House stitched up together when Morgan dreamt that he had won the March 2008 elections. For years now, those of us with access to information that matter in this country have been laughing at this inauguration speech that Morgan was supposed to give on his dream inauguration in 2008 after discovering that it had been plagiarised from the speeches delivered by former American presidents, Bill Clinton and his successor George W Bush. What we never expected was for Morgan to use that speech to try and endear himself to the new Ghanaian leader. Anyway, they say you are as good or as bad as the company that you keep… when you hang around with fools, you cannot do better than those around you! This is the mother of all scandals and in hindsight I am so happy that I was not part of it.
Anyway, let me leave it here. I can tell you, Cdes that I am enjoying my vacation. Being a hard worker that I have always been, when I get a chance to enjoy myself, I can really enjoy life to the hilt.
Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME
… AND CZ'S NOTEBOOK
Just on time!
Dr CZ is elated like a puppy that has just woken up to discover that it now has two tails. This has nothing to do with crossing over into the New Year… Yours Truly was one of those who have always been on this side, so there was no need to cross over. What makes Dr CZ, the super-patriot, very, very happy is the final arrival of the lie detector in Zimbabwe! This is the real McCoy! With this, even our Independence in 1980 should come off second best thing ever to arrive in this country…. this is what this country has been missing.
Now that we are in the season of constitutional amendments, can anyone show good cause why Amendment Number 2 should not make it compulsory for anyone in a public office to avail themselves to a lie detection process on a quarterly basis? And when we talk of all we should mean all in the strict sense of the word. This is a very serious matter that can also be put to a referendum in the unlikely event that our politician colleagues —who together with pastors, prophets, some criminals masquerading as police officers, lawyers among others have bona fide reasons to be really scared — try to oppose the introduction of this vital technique.
Just to ensure that any referendum on this passes easily, it should be made unequivocally clear that of course, it would be a serious criminal offence for this machine to be employed anywhere near matrimonial homes. No and never!
Going, going, gone!
This week, United States President Barack Obama delivered his farewell speech in Chicago. Last week, Jacob Zuma addressed the National African Congress (ANC) anniversary for the last time in his capacity as the party's president… as he is on his way out of power. Next week, Godfrey Chidyausiku will be opening the country's legal year for the last time as Chief Justice of Zimbabwe and it is time for him to vamoose. It looks like everyone is going. Dr CZ leaves it here.
At the ANC celebrations, newsmen polled party members on who they would want to be the next leader of the party… the members openly expressed their choice between Cyril Ramaphosa and Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma. Imagine that happening within political parties in Zimbabwe!
RIP
Last week, the country lost one of its own heavies in former Mashonaland West governor, Cde Pater Chanetsa, who was naturally declared a national hero. His passing on reminded Dr CZ of a passage he came across somewhere in the media sometime last year. It read: "Years ago, this writer was loitering inside the Oliver Tambo International Airport, having landed from Europe and waiting for his connecting flight to Harare. Because I had no transit visa, I had to wait the whole 10 hours inside the airport, which resulted in me just wandering around from one end of the vast airport to the other. As I loitered aimlessly, a booming voice shouted: ‘Don't just stand there like a fool! Why not come to us (the duty free shop's name and directions given) and see for yourself? You will never regret!' Though penniless, but being someone with all the time in the world, who was this writer to resist the riveting temptation of avoiding looking like a fool by simply visiting the said shop? I was to discover that this was a jewellery shop that, because of its unique advertising message, was very busy. It was there that I found former Mashonaland West governor, Peter Chanetsa, giving the shop attendants a torrid time trying to get him an expensive golden necklace that could comfortably grace his generous neck. Relieved, he finally got one, paid for it and left the shop visibly a happy man. Most likely, just like this writer, the portly politician had also been jolted into action by the same booming voice!"
May Cde Chanetsa's soul rest in eternal peace!
Uncouth
Dr CZ has noticed with disdain that one private school whose new campus in Harare was recently opened by Primary and Secondary Education Minister, Lazarus Dokora, has decided to use his name for advertising purposes.
Value of life
Dr CZ was blessed by the following article, one of the several that he came across while enjoying himself during the festive season. He hereby shares it with his fans.
A little boy went to his old grandfather and asked: "What's the value of life?"
The grandfather gave him one stone and said: "Find out the value of this stone, but don't sell it."
The boy took the stone to an orange seller and asked him what its cost would be.
The orange seller saw the shiny stone and said: "You can take 12 oranges and give me the stone."
The boy apologised and said that the grandfather has asked him not to sell it.
He went ahead and found a vegetable seller.
"What could be the value of this stone?" he asked the vegetable seller.
The seller saw the shiny stone and said: "Take one sack of potatoes and give me the stone."
The boy again apologised and said he couldn't sell it.
Further ahead, he went into a jewellery shop and asked the value of the stone.
The jeweller saw the stone under a lens and said: "I'll give you US$1 million for this stone."
When the boy shook his head, the jeweller said: "Alright, alright, take two 24 carat gold necklaces, and give me the stone."
The boy explained that he couldn't sell the stone.
Further ahead, the boy saw a precious stone's shop and asked the seller the value of the stone.
When the precious stone's seller saw the big ruby, he laid down a red cloth and put the gemstone on it.
Then he walked in circles around the ruby and bent down and touched his head in front of it. "From where did you get this priceless ruby?" he asked.
"Even if I sell the whole world, and my life, I won't be able to purchase this priceless stone."
Stunned and confused, the boy returned to the grandfather and told him what had happened.
"Now tell me what is the value of life, grandfather?"
Grandfather said: "The answers you got from the orange seller, the vegetable seller, the jeweller and the precious stone's seller explain the value of our life… You may be a precious stone, even priceless, but people will value you based on their financial status, their level of information, their belief in you, their motive behind entertaining you, their ambition, and their risk taking ability. But don't fear, you will surely find someone who will discern your true value. Respect yourself. Believe in yourself. Stay focussed. Don't sell yourself cheap. You are unique. No one can replace you! God bless you!"
cznotebook@yahoo.co.uk
COMPLIMENTS of the new season to you all Comrades. I am most pleased to welcome you all to the year of our Lord Two Thousand and Seventeen. I know all of you and all our people had a fantastic festive season and that you are all back at work rejuvenated and ready to ensure that the economic turnaround efforts bring more prosperity to the people.
I am told that there was a mini rebel in our national men soccer team, the Warriors' camp. Just as by now you can all guess, our Anglo-Saxon detractors were behind it. They infiltrated the camp and started spreading lies about how these boys are playing for nothing with senior government officials wasting millions on selfish overseas junkets. What a blue lie! This baseless rumour was not helped by the very sensitive information that this Biti chap recently revealed in blatant disregard of the Official Secrets Act… Cde Pats, and our several other best legal minds, you can help with sound advice on how this dangerously careless chap can be shown, in a practical way, that there is indeed rule of law in this country.
When my wife told me that the new Ghanaian President had invited Morgan to his inauguration, I was not amused at all… you all know that birds of a feather flock together… being both puppets of the West, it was only natural that they behave in the way they did. You have all heard that blood is thicker than water, haven't you?
However, what I did not expect was that Morgan would pass to this new chap in Ghana a plagiarised speech that Harvest House stitched up together when Morgan dreamt that he had won the March 2008 elections. For years now, those of us with access to information that matter in this country have been laughing at this inauguration speech that Morgan was supposed to give on his dream inauguration in 2008 after discovering that it had been plagiarised from the speeches delivered by former American presidents, Bill Clinton and his successor George W Bush. What we never expected was for Morgan to use that speech to try and endear himself to the new Ghanaian leader. Anyway, they say you are as good or as bad as the company that you keep… when you hang around with fools, you cannot do better than those around you! This is the mother of all scandals and in hindsight I am so happy that I was not part of it.
Anyway, let me leave it here. I can tell you, Cdes that I am enjoying my vacation. Being a hard worker that I have always been, when I get a chance to enjoy myself, I can really enjoy life to the hilt.
Kindest Regards
Yours Sincerely
ME
… AND CZ'S NOTEBOOK
Just on time!
Dr CZ is elated like a puppy that has just woken up to discover that it now has two tails. This has nothing to do with crossing over into the New Year… Yours Truly was one of those who have always been on this side, so there was no need to cross over. What makes Dr CZ, the super-patriot, very, very happy is the final arrival of the lie detector in Zimbabwe! This is the real McCoy! With this, even our Independence in 1980 should come off second best thing ever to arrive in this country…. this is what this country has been missing.
Now that we are in the season of constitutional amendments, can anyone show good cause why Amendment Number 2 should not make it compulsory for anyone in a public office to avail themselves to a lie detection process on a quarterly basis? And when we talk of all we should mean all in the strict sense of the word. This is a very serious matter that can also be put to a referendum in the unlikely event that our politician colleagues —who together with pastors, prophets, some criminals masquerading as police officers, lawyers among others have bona fide reasons to be really scared — try to oppose the introduction of this vital technique.
Just to ensure that any referendum on this passes easily, it should be made unequivocally clear that of course, it would be a serious criminal offence for this machine to be employed anywhere near matrimonial homes. No and never!
Going, going, gone!
This week, United States President Barack Obama delivered his farewell speech in Chicago. Last week, Jacob Zuma addressed the National African Congress (ANC) anniversary for the last time in his capacity as the party's president… as he is on his way out of power. Next week, Godfrey Chidyausiku will be opening the country's legal year for the last time as Chief Justice of Zimbabwe and it is time for him to vamoose. It looks like everyone is going. Dr CZ leaves it here.
At the ANC celebrations, newsmen polled party members on who they would want to be the next leader of the party… the members openly expressed their choice between Cyril Ramaphosa and Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma. Imagine that happening within political parties in Zimbabwe!
RIP
Last week, the country lost one of its own heavies in former Mashonaland West governor, Cde Pater Chanetsa, who was naturally declared a national hero. His passing on reminded Dr CZ of a passage he came across somewhere in the media sometime last year. It read: "Years ago, this writer was loitering inside the Oliver Tambo International Airport, having landed from Europe and waiting for his connecting flight to Harare. Because I had no transit visa, I had to wait the whole 10 hours inside the airport, which resulted in me just wandering around from one end of the vast airport to the other. As I loitered aimlessly, a booming voice shouted: ‘Don't just stand there like a fool! Why not come to us (the duty free shop's name and directions given) and see for yourself? You will never regret!' Though penniless, but being someone with all the time in the world, who was this writer to resist the riveting temptation of avoiding looking like a fool by simply visiting the said shop? I was to discover that this was a jewellery shop that, because of its unique advertising message, was very busy. It was there that I found former Mashonaland West governor, Peter Chanetsa, giving the shop attendants a torrid time trying to get him an expensive golden necklace that could comfortably grace his generous neck. Relieved, he finally got one, paid for it and left the shop visibly a happy man. Most likely, just like this writer, the portly politician had also been jolted into action by the same booming voice!"
May Cde Chanetsa's soul rest in eternal peace!
Uncouth
Dr CZ has noticed with disdain that one private school whose new campus in Harare was recently opened by Primary and Secondary Education Minister, Lazarus Dokora, has decided to use his name for advertising purposes.
Value of life
Dr CZ was blessed by the following article, one of the several that he came across while enjoying himself during the festive season. He hereby shares it with his fans.
A little boy went to his old grandfather and asked: "What's the value of life?"
The grandfather gave him one stone and said: "Find out the value of this stone, but don't sell it."
The boy took the stone to an orange seller and asked him what its cost would be.
The orange seller saw the shiny stone and said: "You can take 12 oranges and give me the stone."
The boy apologised and said that the grandfather has asked him not to sell it.
He went ahead and found a vegetable seller.
"What could be the value of this stone?" he asked the vegetable seller.
The seller saw the shiny stone and said: "Take one sack of potatoes and give me the stone."
The boy again apologised and said he couldn't sell it.
Further ahead, he went into a jewellery shop and asked the value of the stone.
The jeweller saw the stone under a lens and said: "I'll give you US$1 million for this stone."
When the boy shook his head, the jeweller said: "Alright, alright, take two 24 carat gold necklaces, and give me the stone."
The boy explained that he couldn't sell the stone.
Further ahead, the boy saw a precious stone's shop and asked the seller the value of the stone.
When the precious stone's seller saw the big ruby, he laid down a red cloth and put the gemstone on it.
Then he walked in circles around the ruby and bent down and touched his head in front of it. "From where did you get this priceless ruby?" he asked.
"Even if I sell the whole world, and my life, I won't be able to purchase this priceless stone."
Stunned and confused, the boy returned to the grandfather and told him what had happened.
"Now tell me what is the value of life, grandfather?"
Grandfather said: "The answers you got from the orange seller, the vegetable seller, the jeweller and the precious stone's seller explain the value of our life… You may be a precious stone, even priceless, but people will value you based on their financial status, their level of information, their belief in you, their motive behind entertaining you, their ambition, and their risk taking ability. But don't fear, you will surely find someone who will discern your true value. Respect yourself. Believe in yourself. Stay focussed. Don't sell yourself cheap. You are unique. No one can replace you! God bless you!"
cznotebook@yahoo.co.uk
Source - fingaz
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