She turned him down free touristic, free boarding in Germany: NUST Professor insults her hard!

A woman of 64 years, I have been officially pensioned beginning of January 2018 at the same time can continue working for another 5 years if I so wished. My age will inform that under normal circumstances I could be a grandmother of ten children or so: I have none. Our African trademark: Ubuntu says any child in Zimbabwe is your grandchild; treat her/him as such. The family structures have collapsed. Those Babakazis and Tetes are not readily available to give our girl-children those noble values that cherish the family hood. We always feel books or articles in the social media are a replacement from those broken down family structures: Gogos/Ambuyas are now us: women of our age who will write articles about their experiences that inform them about womanhood. Those are the stories we pass on in books to our grandchildren to remove avoidable obstacles in their growing lives.

The NUST professor from Bulawayo, I will call RK: professor of communications in one of the finest universities in Zimbabwe. Curiously the professor cannot, does not know how to communicate. He is a married man, sends an email asking if he could come to visit me here in Germany. In a split second, I was agitated by this request because it had an undercurrent of begging yet again to come to Germany: those constant requests I detested from him three years ago. I promptly replied him without givng him a chance for him to dream about coming to Germany for touristic and "seeing ME".

"Make sure you are well resourced because Germany is very expensive country. Personally I don't entertain strangers or cold callers and married people in my home; it digs in too much in day to my day expenses. I would advise you to go elsewhere and not Germany. You will never enjoy your touristic coming to Germany and hoping to stay with someone you don't know or ever seen. I can smell disaster already. I should let you know this upfront. Regards: Nomazulu"

Not satisfied about this reply, I sent the same message to my friend who was the match-maker of us two three years ago. Agitated as I was, I managed to calm down, tell her without emotions how women are abused by men in reference to professor RK's email. This match-making can easily lead to femicide in some cases, I said. The professor: RK got wind we are talking about him and his advances to come to visit Germany alone without his wife for a good touristic and free boarding with this single woman he has never seen physically but only communicated on cyber space. With fire and furry the professor RK answered back:

Nomazulu! You are a professional gossiper! Ms ugly! I don't have time for stupid people like you! Get lost! Ngangisithi ngiyaxoxa lawe but you are immoral and expect people any man who talks to you to express intimacy. It's typical of uggly women like you Nomazulu to think ukuthi bayakhonjiswa each time a man innocently talks to them. Please get away! Get lost Ms Ugly! I will not ready anything from you anymore. You are evil and ugly woman. Slanderer! Anything you send me, I will just delete. Regards, RK

Nomazulu, you are heap and ugly 200kg woman! I wouldn't want to associate with a liar like you. I was innocently conversing with you not knowing that you are a lier, gossiper. It's a serious combination if you are like that and ugly at the same time.

Bye! This is the last communication you will get from me. I am happily married to a beautiful intelligent woman. I do not need a heap next to me! I think Nomazulu is a very frustated woman expecting to be solicited by anyone who speaks to her. That is very cheap. I would not under any circumstances wish to have a relationship with you, Nomazulu. I am married and I am happy. That I have known now what kind of person you are, I would not want even to have a conversation with you. I wouldn't interpret, as you have done to my response, that you want a relationship with me. I am not a fool. I do not even know how you look like. In fact because of what you have done to me with, Noma, I would not ever (with emphasis ) wish to see you. You are not worthy seeing!

There is one thing that the professor RK said that was true about me: that I am frustrated. That is dead true, I am indeed frustrated. At the age of 64, I am still in Germany not at my home in Zimbabwe. How long have I waited to go home and be part of my country's development? How long have I dreamt being at home and doing community development: my whole passion was to work to bring back our girl-children from the red lights?

I feel frustrated when I hear that drinking water in almost all cities and towns are not fit for drinking. I am qualified water/waste- water engineer. I could do something for my Zimbabwe if I was at home it did not matter how little. Here in Germany I am secondary school teacher, yes a job I enjoyed doing: It gave my son and me some decent lives. I sometimes do vent my anger on social media too: it's crying loud to want to come home and do that little before I pop off, leave some personal legacy with a semblance of decency behind.

I am Ms. Ugly! said Professor RK. Wow, alone Nathaniel Manheru put it on black and white: he said her head-duck is breathtakingly beautiful: that angry beauty; aka George Charamba continued: I indeed felt good by those appreciations of physical beauty from my loving enemy; Nathaniel Manheru: was a columnist in the Herald. The professor says the opposite because I declined his visit to Germany, I don't entertain married people in my home, I said. The beauty is in the eyes of the beholder they say. I hasten to say that at my age it will not be normal to still uphold values of physical beauty when there are so many issues at home that need my expertise.

Beauty is skin deep. I will consider myself beautiful if I managed at least one project for women and girls successfully. I will call myself beautiful if I reconnected with my tribal origins: the San people of Tsholotsho-North, my proud identity. My tribe: San Tribes faces extinction in Zimbabwe; the remaining population is under 2000. It is my equal duty to make sure their lives are transformed from hunting and plant-gathering to ever remain in existence as a tribe. The global warming is taking its toll and the most vulnerable are the marginalised San peoples.

I am frustrated because I haven't done anything tangible I can claim be proud about inside Zimbabwe. Yes I spent most of the time looking after my son whose father abandoned us because he feared responsibility. I looked after son so well, I sacrificed everything to give him the best education. I do attach his success as mine too. When I begin to talk about my son, I cannot be modest please excuse me. My son was born in the middle of Europe, Berlin. A son, 30 years old: who does not smoke cigarettes, does not drink alcoholic drinks in Germany, Germany! He is doing doctorate studies in one of the good universities in Germany. I can't be modest!! This where the beauty of a mother comes out! When you see progress in an offspring in a challenging environment: central Europe, the pride comes out.

Coming back to professor RK and me: I did not take those insults kindly from the professor, I answered back. "Is this the Professor of communications behaving like a goat-herder-boy from Nkayi tribal Trust Lands of Ian Douglas Smith UDI era. Please trace your time back when we started communicating together three years ago.

What I still remember in my childhood times in the 1960s is that if a boy proposed love and you turned down his proposal, that goat-herder will beat you up and call you all sorts of names; because he is the man and I the woman!!! If one was carrying a big tin full of water, it will drop down with a beng, you will need to go back to get some water from the bore-hall again. You are doing the same with me in 2018: curiously and supposedly educated to a professor lecturing at NUST, NUST, to call me frustrated and dangerous and not worthy; I rejected your advances once more in 2018. I have other issues I am passionate about and not a man in my private life. I am too old to be subjected to a life I lived as a girl four decades back. 24 hours ago you were asking to come to Germany to "see ME" and 24 hours later you are hauling insults at me, some of which are unprintable! It informs me a lot about you as a person: I fear just to imagine if I had said YES to your love proposal and married you in 2013.

Trace your steps back: You are hopelessly and shamelessly a beggar RK, three years ago, you shamelessly begged for money and tickets to come to Germany from me. I did not send you money because I am not stupid. You again asked for a ticket, I never sent you a ticket because I did not see it how I could send money to a man I did not know or have ever seen, spending so much on a man who is capable of buying a ticket for himself, let alone the costs in my household if he squatted for weeks without end: enjoying the comforts of Germany obviously not available in Zimbabwe-Bulawayo!!!. RK you are without shame, at best a rogue, undignified, unscrupulous dealings with women and your sinister approach to loot to your advantage. On several occasions you have asked me to sends you money: 200 Euros a month: to top up your merger salary when you were still in NUST. If for argument sake, I sent it because I am stupid, you will have used it with your sister-in-law you were cohabiting with in your home. Kudya zvemarema!!

I went to East Africa: Tanzania for business transactions, when I came back, you followed me up to see how much money I got from the business transactions. My foot, shame and disgrace. It is for this reason I never took you seriously as a potential husband or partner from the very word go. Your standards in personal interaction with other; if it was a woman, are very low, are still low by all account. Professor, you can never be a loving partner for a mature woman: Your first wife left you when she thought enough was enough with an abusive husband and father of her children.

Not only are you a beggar RK, you deceitfully, wanted a relationship with me: proposed love for nine full months, but you had a woman in your house supposedly your sister-in-law you turned into a bed-partner while you outsource a resourceful woman abroad in Germany. Deceit is your second nature, you go on to call her a lunatic when she found out that you are busy corresponding with some woman in Germany in my presence, on telephone. Obviously you had not given up on me despite the fact that I showed you the door three years ago. Till today you dream of coming to see me here in Germany despite the fact that you are now happily married to yet another woman and not your sister-in-law. You are a case-book study for Feminists. You are openly abusive to women. Your rhythm and grammar of you email makes me fear you.

You are a failed husband, a failed father, a failed academic!!!! My condolences to the woman who is married to you! I congratulate your Ex-wife for leaving you. From the onset I rejected you outright because you have no resources in your name and it is for this reason that you use women to get some semblance of touristic, something you cannot afford yourself personally. There is "some single woman" You think I can afford to keep a deceitful husband who has left his wife you are happily married to. I refused, rejected you this opportunity outright and gave my reasons. Your language in emails spells desperation in your life.

On the other hand, I wonder how I Nomazulu would be frustrated if I have a semblance of a pension and still allowed to work for another 5 years. I am resourced here in Germany. You are seriously envious of my freedom: you are green with envy evidently; you wish you could come here and squat in my house for nothing!!!! Umkhaza in the sense of the word, it must be very cold out there after leaving NUST. You are kicking and screaming because of sour grapes, evidently.

You said I am dangerous! Yes you are dead right: I am a very dangerous person. If you came here in my house, I was going to throw you out of my house if I realized you don't have resources to spend for your upkeep: I was even going to go further, contact your wife in Bulawayo and tell her you are in my house, and all your demands you will have made to me, will tell her all!!! Please be careful with me I am indeed dangerous! There is no married man who comes to my home and he thinks I will look after him and otherwise. Honourable MP Priscilla Mishihairabwi-Mushonga was right: above 40 years it's a state lottery, she said. What is there to offer me then, a man of 69 years if you are happily married at home in Bulawayo with a beautiful woman and also intelligent?

The quality of your communications will inform that you are not only emotionally abusive to women, but physically as well. But during the day you will reading your Bible diligently: tomorrow you are going to the Sabbath: you hide your evil-intentions behind that Bible shamelessly so to speak: a deceitful and abusive man. I am glad I showed you the door long back. This should be my last conversation with you. I will keep all your conversations with me by emails. It will inform many global feminists: what is an abusive African married man, chauvinistic, misogynistic and emotionally unstable in his dealings with women! You are a text book case of all that. Questions will still insist in me: why did my friend introduce me to you! Ungeyise kanganani umgane wami to think RK of all men: could be an alternative to my single-hood? In retrospect I enjoy my single status: I am Miss.Thata all the time.

That I am not worthy to be seen by you, well that's your own opinion, you are wholly entitled to. I do wish to see you one day if I came to Bulawayo for a chat for about ten minutes: I still do respect human dignity: I will never call any human-being not worthy my seeing, atheist as I am. I will greet you when I meet you in the streets of Bulawayo!!! I strongly believe human dignity shall be inviolable. To respect and protect it shall be the duty of all mankind; Please don't reply, it's too much halloo-balloo with you! There are other things to do".

At 64 years, I refuse to be subjected to the market again: get a man to marry you: uhlale pansi uzinze, is the mantra, some pressure to get married. For goodness sake marrage for me at my age: a grandmother! I have nieces out there, who are 20, 24, 30 years who are really in the market by virtue of their ages: it's normal and natural: certainly not unhina wabo omdala u Nomazulu to compete with them out there, worrying about beauty of my body appearance, because I want to entice a man, a development in reverse. I am out of the market forever because the age says so and also my responsibilities I still need to do, demand me to have free life and be active in giving Zimbabwe its talent back. I owe Zimbabwe that little in terms of social development. I still have energy to be part of community development for my people the San population of Zimbabwe.

Dear young women out there please be careful when you make choices of future husbands. Femicide is not a myth but realities we read on social media every day.

Every second day there are reports of deaths by a spouse in our social media: deaths of women killed cold blood by their spouses, some stabbed to death, some hacked to death, some beaten to death by induku kumbe imqwayi. Survivors of domestic abuse have their stories to tell, just listen to them. I can imagine if I married this professor, any disputes; big or small can easily turn into a fatal death. Despite the fact that we communicated my email, thousands of miles from each other, there is this fear in me still lingering: what if!

Nomazulu thata is a feminist and active politician in German main-stream politics. She writes mostly on women issues. She can be contacted on Nomazulu.thata(at)web.de