We, the men of Matabeleland are not upset but perturbed by Grace Mugabe's insults

We the men of Matabeleland are very amused at the wayward mouth of the second first lady of Zimbabwe. We are not upset but perturbed as it is clear that she sleeps next to the man who does not spare the rod when it comes to us; we, the men of Matebeleland. She is a good student on the art of hater-ism and ill will. She has adopted, been taught and has recited that script very well. We, the men of Matebeleland must pose a great threat or we have something inherently admirable that they perennially seek to besmirch.

It is apparent as the song denigrating us is continuous and constant - but it has become mundane and discordant, moreover, it is not true. This psychological warfare will not work, it does not work with us anymore. We can see through the smoke screen now. It is not us that have or are the problem, it is definitely Mugabe and now his wife, who have a problem with us. Mugabe is a teacher who has taught his followers and now his wife, to sing his ugly words of hatred for the Matabele. We wonder what he has instilled in his young children's minds.

Grace needs to be reminded that just like her, we the men of Matabeleland can be polygamists. But unlike her, our culture allows it. On her part, she has two husbands. The bible tells us that he who divorces his wife causes her to commit adultery, so she is in essence living in sin yet she yells at us as if she is pure. By the way, did Dr. Grace divorce Gorereza before frolicking with Mugabe or there were desk shenanigans while still both sharing matrimonial beds albeit with separate individuals? We also hear rumors that she has or had small houses of her own to the extent that some prominent people have been run out of the country because of her shenanigans. Where has anyone seen a first lady who drives herself around; at least till lately? We see videos of her in Hong Kong beating up journalists and we see her on South African television bragging about her viciousness. Or is she shopping, rousing us in the hope of landing a Ndebele successor for her nano-generate as she is known for her appetite for men.

In Matabeleland, our women are respectful and act with humility, wisdom and conduct becoming of a wholesome woman. She must not come here to break our customs and demonstrate lack of cultivation, kithi kulobuntu. What she is doing and saying about us are lies njalo kuyazila, yikusitshap'sela and it is unbecoming of a first lady to speak in un-ladylike terms, yikuzembula izidwaba, kithi akwenziwa lokho. Her venom lays clear the mentality besieging the state and that which has been spread about the Ndebele; that they are viewed as a problem. So which is the problem? That they are across the border in South Africa or that they are at home not developing Matabeleland or that they are making too many children? The Ndebele seem to be objects of fascination and constant rhetoric which baffle the mind as to the reason and purpose other than denigration and to bring out the inner ugliness that exists within themselves. This is notwithstanding the fact that the Ndebele are across the border because of being hunted down during gugurawundi and recently fleeing for economic reasons. Then again, is she speaking from the perspective as a South African or a Zimbabwean? Is that why dual citizenship finally made it in Zimbabwe because of her as some of our brothers and sisters were deprived of the citizenship of the land of their fathers?

Our men go to South Africa because they cannot afford to go to Hong Kong and Malaysia - they can only to jump the nearby borders and can only afford Berea and nearby places, dearest Dr. (sic) Mugabe. By the way, whether it is Dr. or Mrs. Gorereza aka Mugabe, as a doctor in social studies, one would expect her to know that there are more Shonas in South Africa than Ndebeles, so her hatred of our people is not lost on us as in the streets of Johannesburg and Cape Town one meets more of her also-poorly people than ours. There are even jokes of people in toilets answering in Shona as it is so commonplace.

The people that are in South Africa and these men of Matabeleland dear Dr. Amai, are orphans of your husband's actions and cruelty. Remember that there are no diamond mines allocated for the orphans of Matabeleland, unlike the provisions for whom you facilitated in Mazowe, you do not fight for the children of Matabeleland. O championess of orphans, are you going to champion the cause of the children of Matabeleland as well or are you going to be used to spit nonsense and more insanity from your masters? Insanity that has reached the highest levels.

Zimbabwe is being ruled by people who looked inside the class, threatened the teacher and came back later with guns to get their grades. If Robber Mugabe has seven degrees, with who did he discuss lesson material while he was in jail? Does this explain his single-mindedness? If you, dear reader, were a lecturer marking an exam and came across a paper from an incarcerated liberation fighter with a name like his, would you fail him? This grossly over-degreed president has demonstrated weak application of learned material and neither has he garnered any experience from his long tenure otherwise the land of our ancestors would be the land of milk and honey as it should be with our versatile people. The new RBZ governor also has a PhD from a grossly laughable institution, to mention just another one of several fake academic degrees in high places also not forgetting that among Mugabe's accolades is that he is a former knight and a believer that cricket would civilize our people, incredible stuff! Most of us were educated on the resources of the colonial regimes but we are now starting to witness the products of Mugabe's education, as evidenced by the green bombers and many others who hold Border Gezi certificates. The saddest part of this saga is that the Grace degree, the PhD has severely eroded, cheapened and rendered the credentials from the national institution, to be at the least, very laughable out loud.

No one in the secured Zanu circle is understanding the reality or gravity of what is going on as few have passed the classes, most of everything is over their heads, only the strongman views carry the day. The sanctions mantra that they preach is not without merit as most would like to think, but the sanctions are real and are burdening. The most terrible effect of this is the continued single-mindedness and insulation that has caused introspection to be nearly impossible as there is no possibility of extro-spection, that is, the ability to see oneself through others or outsiders, who have shunned them therefore depriving them of that alternate resource.

When they came for us, no one heard us and now we look as even young girls for whom we fought are telling us that we are useless! What is new in Zimbabwe to us in this regard, we ask? WE, the men of Matabeleland are not in the least perturbed by this circus of a wayward woman, but instead, are amused as the chickens have come to roost in Zimbagwe and the eggs have hatched and here we are. Reports are awash that the crowds laughed and clapped at her madness but let it not be lost that we clap and laugh, not because it resonates but because it is entertainment at its best. Ask anyone from Bulawayo about Masawuso or about oMkhula. Our people deserve a good laugh and they will gather around and laugh, after all, what is to be made of all this insanity?