2 friends commit suicide over wives' infidelity

The Bulawayo community is reeling from the heartbreaking suicides of two close friends, Khumbulani Dube and Nqobizitha Sibanda, whose untimely deaths have shone a light on the emotional struggles many men silently endure in their personal lives.

The two men, who allegedly faced marital difficulties, took their own lives within days of each other, prompting an outpouring of grief and a renewed call for greater awareness on mental health issues, particularly among men.

Khumbulani Dube was found dead at his home after reportedly ingesting poison. According to friends and family, Dube had been dealing with ongoing emotional turmoil in his marriage. His wife's alleged infidelity and the emotional abuse he suffered at her hands had taken a heavy toll on him.

Ms. Sipho Mazibuko, founder of Mental Voices Trust and Khumbulani's employer for 26 years, described him as a kind and loving man who had endured months of silent suffering. Mazibuko shared that Dube had confided in her just days before his death, revealing that his wife had insulted him and humiliated him in front of others, even turning their children against him.

"Khumbu committed suicide on Monday after he could no longer take his wife of more than 20 years' infidelity. He told me that his wife was saying her boyfriend was better in bed. I honestly don't know how things changed because they were initially so in love. After the wife started cheating, she would come to work and insult Khumbu, humiliating him in front of everyone," said Mazibuko.

She added, "I was in the process of organising counselling for him when I received the phone call that he had passed away. Men are going through a lot emotionally, and I would encourage them to seek help. There is no shame in that."

Just one day after Khumbulani's tragic death, Nqobizitha Sibanda was found hanging from a tree near Nyamande Primary School in Old Lobengula, a location near his home. His suicide followed a devastating revelation that the child he believed to be his own might not actually be his biological son.

A neighbour, who wished to remain anonymous, revealed that Nqobizitha's wife's lover came forward to claim the child. "Nqobizitha's wife had a lover who she used to go out to bars with. All hell broke loose when that lover came to tell Nqobi that the baby he was taking care of was in fact his. The couple had been having problems with the wife not sleeping at home, but this revelation was too much for Nqobizitha to bear," the neighbour said.

Nqobizitha's sister, Busisiwe Sibanda, expressed the family's deep sorrow over the loss. "We truly wish that things would have turned out differently. My brother had been in an unhappy marriage, and before he took his life, he had reached out to family to help him solve his problems. But the news about the child must have been too much for him," she said.

The community has been left in shock, struggling to comprehend the loss of two promising lives. Both suicides have sparked an outcry from those calling for greater mental health awareness and support for men, particularly in the face of societal expectations that often discourage them from expressing vulnerability or seeking help.

The timing of the tragedies is particularly poignant as both suicides occurred in November, a month dedicated to raising awareness about men's health, including prostate cancer, testicular cancer, and mental health issues.

Experts are urging for a societal shift that normalizes conversations about mental health, especially for men, to eliminate the stigma that often prevents them from seeking help. "Men need to feel safe in opening up about their struggles without the fear of judgment. It's critical that we build a culture where mental health is not a taboo subject but a conversation we can all engage in," said a mental health advocate.

The loss of Khumbulani and Nqobizitha has deeply affected the Bulawayo community, underscoring the urgent need for support systems and mental health resources for those struggling in silence.