Opinion / Columnist
Parting Thoughts from 2023 Zimbabwe Coconut Reforms
20 Dec 2023 at 17:45hrs | Views
It is not a secret that the rotten state or the coconut republic of Zimbabwe must be reformed and replaced with a well-functioning state. To establish a functional state, reform is needed in political, economic, judiciary, educational, and the electoral systems. But as a country, we are face with a dilemma--reform is anathema to the vampire elites and coconut heads, for it would threaten their lucrative businesses and their hold on power.
I will summarize what we have witnessed in the past 43 years since Zimbabwe Independence. We have asked them to privatize inefficient state enterprises and they sold the underperforming companies to themselves and their cronies at fire-sale prices: examples are ZUPCO, National Railways of Zimbabwe and you can complete the list.
We have asked them to develop their economies and they developed their pockets. We asked them to seek foreign investment and we end up being a Chinese colony. We asked them to establish a market based economy and place more emphasis on the private sector and they created Mutapa Investment.
We asked them to enforce the rule of law and they forced the law to respect their whims. In an editorial called: The poll that Bob stole The Economist wrote: "In Zimbabwe, the thieves are in charge and their victims face prosecution."
We asked them to trim their bloated bureaucracies and cut government spending and they established Zimbabwe Anti-Corruption Commission (ZACC).
We asked them to reform their abominable political and economic systems, and they performed the "coconut boogie"—one swing forward, three swings back, a jerk to the right, and a tumble to land hard on a frozen Swiss bank account.
We asked them to establish democratic pluralism and they created surrogate parties, appointed their own electoral commissioners, inflate the voters' register, manipulate the electoral rules, and hold coconut elections to return themselves to power. Even African children could see through this chicanery and fraud. In the SADC report after August 2023 elections, Dr. Mumba's team highlighted various concerns, including voting delays, the banning of opposition rallies, and biased state media coverage during the electoral process.
In the end, our parliament is used as a democratic decoration. Reforms have become a charade. The reform process has stalled through vexatious chicanery, willful deception, and vaunted acrobatics. The ruling vampire elites and the coconut heads are just not interested in reform, period. They benefit from the rotten status quo. But without reform, Zimbabwe could implode or collapse.
I will summarize what we have witnessed in the past 43 years since Zimbabwe Independence. We have asked them to privatize inefficient state enterprises and they sold the underperforming companies to themselves and their cronies at fire-sale prices: examples are ZUPCO, National Railways of Zimbabwe and you can complete the list.
We have asked them to develop their economies and they developed their pockets. We asked them to seek foreign investment and we end up being a Chinese colony. We asked them to establish a market based economy and place more emphasis on the private sector and they created Mutapa Investment.
We asked them to enforce the rule of law and they forced the law to respect their whims. In an editorial called: The poll that Bob stole The Economist wrote: "In Zimbabwe, the thieves are in charge and their victims face prosecution."
We asked them to trim their bloated bureaucracies and cut government spending and they established Zimbabwe Anti-Corruption Commission (ZACC).
We asked them to reform their abominable political and economic systems, and they performed the "coconut boogie"—one swing forward, three swings back, a jerk to the right, and a tumble to land hard on a frozen Swiss bank account.
We asked them to establish democratic pluralism and they created surrogate parties, appointed their own electoral commissioners, inflate the voters' register, manipulate the electoral rules, and hold coconut elections to return themselves to power. Even African children could see through this chicanery and fraud. In the SADC report after August 2023 elections, Dr. Mumba's team highlighted various concerns, including voting delays, the banning of opposition rallies, and biased state media coverage during the electoral process.
In the end, our parliament is used as a democratic decoration. Reforms have become a charade. The reform process has stalled through vexatious chicanery, willful deception, and vaunted acrobatics. The ruling vampire elites and the coconut heads are just not interested in reform, period. They benefit from the rotten status quo. But without reform, Zimbabwe could implode or collapse.
Source - Sam Wezhira
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