Éclat Chimhama & Rumbie: One's hysteria, pacified by man's presence in bed and the other, perceived deprived!

I will leave out the causes of their tongue lashings: what is interesting is the language use. I will start with Chimhama whose eloquent speeches and her facial beauty do not escape me.  The woman is gifted and talented in the sense of the word. When she speaks, she convinces the hard-to-impress Nomazulu Thata. Chimhama knows and articulate Zimbabwean politics eloquently: all details about Zimbabwe's economic and social difficulties are in her fingertips. That she is labelled a sellout is beside the point of discussion. In Zambia, in the struggle for independence, innocent people were declared sellouts and executed. This tool to declare someone a sellout was a creation of the liberation movements both in Zapu and Zanu. The word sellout is a powerful tool to destroy somebody in our Zimbabwe body politics. It can be equal to accusing someone of witchcraft - it carries the same devastating weight. This flake of being labelled a witch will never wash; again, accused of being a sellout sticks forever. This tool to label someone a sellout/witchcraft will live with us for generations.

Who am I to judge who is right and wrong in tongue-lashing episode between Chimhama and Rumbi? Logic and reasons were absent in their lashings. However, I am concerned about the unbecoming language used, emotional lacerations of each other. (It reminded me of the oval office bashing of President Zelensky by Donald Trump/Vance lacerations in less than a week ago) I wish these sisters would have handled their differences better than a display of gender-shaming. Earlier on, sister Chimhama had quarreled with young Gen Ze called Nyokayemabhunu. I do not want to dwell on the subject matter much because again, it's beyond me. My bone of contention in these aspersions is Chimhama's language use. She told Nyokayemabhunu that he talks and lashes loud like a woman! OH! Arguing her position using a woman without sense was too much for me. Was she aware that to insult this loud Gen Ze, with that language use, she was also denigrating not only herself, but all of us women knowingly and unknowingly: that needled me. Chimhama is eloquently intelligent woman, I never thought in her anger she could use women (shouting women without sense) to insult Nyokayemabhunu. The irony of it all escaped me totally!

Days later, Chimhama was on it, with Rumbi! In her anger to finish Rumbi up, shames her on social media: Rumbi is not married! It is for this reason Rumbi's actions are hysteric: (wombs should be pacified by male presence in bed) she does not have a man to pacify female body organs. Women validation is confirmed by a man's presence. According to Chimhama's wisdom, or lack of it, the presence of a man in bed defines the value of a woman. To hear this nonsense in the year 2025 makes me collapse in despair. Even my mother, Mrs. Louisa Sihwa, born in 1926, would never have argued her cases case so low. To say you are better behaved and conformed because of a man in your bed, touching organs that pacify women, is the lowest it can get, to shine out Rumbie. Rumbie must be ridiculed!

Our societies are patriarchal, in the second Millennium we must do better in terms of gender equality: SDG 6. Some women in Zimbabwe have serious gender equality issues: one of them is sister Chimhama who thinks validation comes from a marriage certificate including bedroom activities. I am busy trying to find decent words to put across how Chimhama split the young daughter Rumbie, insulting the core values of a woman. Chimhama, evidently is uplifting the position of men as validation of her better to another women: It's unbecoming, to put it mildly. Chimhama is saying, women are incomplete if they are not married. There must have men especially at night to pacify the hysteria (the womb and breasts and behinds) in us women! How are we going to develop if some women have this mindset. To lash out in that manner, heaping unqualified value of menfolk towards women, needles me to the point of madness.

We have learnt nothing as Zimbabwean women. This is a sad revelation about women development in Zimbabwe. Chimhama's acknowledges the mindset of women in Zimbabwe generally; she is not isolated. I can relate to her experience eloquently. Her fragile gender-based positioning will inform growing up girls that you are complete only if you are married; how sad. Curiously, Zimbabwe has millions of woman-headed families, raising children alone by design or default. Most families have fragmented because of the economic turn-down. Chimhama speaks eloquently about the dire economic and social situation in her speeches online and I subscribe to her politics completely. However, I quite don't get my head around her gender-shaming towards Rumbi. It is wholly fantastical to think you are better woman if you are married. This visceral loathing of women by women is something our women must seriously introspect.   

Rumbi, Rumbi! With or without a man in your bedroom, YOU ARE ENOUGH! No person has a right to reduce you because you don't have a male friend or a husband in your bedroom to touch your most private parts. There is strength in solitude. Think about the independence you enjoy alone. Solitude is not defeat or failure. Sing loud blessings to those married; it is good. How many married women are suffering from HIV/AIDS because husbands brought an incurable disease in their beds: resulting eating "mangai" everyday; not one or two, but dozens of medications ever to stay alive.

Rumbi, you must realize that there is gold in you. With those communications skills you have developed, few can do it. Your work of activism is invaluable to all who want to see change in Zimbabwe. Kudos to you. The life of singlehood has advantages you may not realize. Creativity comes with an independent and silent mind uncrowded with external loud voices. You have learn to face challenges head-on, singularly. My dear daughter, celebrate your uniqueness, tell yourself always that you are ENOUGH without external validation. Your solitude is not to be understood as loneliness. That is Chimhama's definition and not yours. A U-Tuber is not a lonely person. Your Video productions attract thousands, they listen to you talking to them.

We live in a Zimbabwe that thinks it can dictate how unmarried women should live their lives. That external judgement should never deter you from growing professionally. You are young and dynamic. Sky is the limit: it will empower you to be strong and you become immune from external judgements and validations. Give YOURSELF value and purpose in your precious life. Please celebrate your individuality, that is where strength lies. Authenticity is nurtured by the silent mind that begins to create the unthinkable. In absolute silence, you are able to ask yourself what you want to do with your life: that is where value and purpose is produced. In silence you begin to give yourself true love and meaning. Nobody is going to give you that on a silver platter.  

Your U-Tube activities constitute successful activism; it will give you great confidence daily. In ten years from now, you will have created your base to an internationally recognized persona. When you are insulted in the way Chimhama did, show your resilience: do not have the itch to hit back because it is not necessary; it is energy wasted. I realized with time that women are the worst enemies of other women. You are whole and enough without a man. Celebrate it instead of sinking and grumbling, why you: why did you not get married like other women. There are millions out there without husbands. Do not ever fear external judgement: You do not know what they are coping with in those "beautiful" homes. Don't envy marriage institutions you don't know. "Chakapfukitsa dzimba matenga"

Solitude redefines your boldness that you are independent, courageous, unique, and strong. You don't need permission from anybody to achieve the unthinkable in your life. Never fit in their definition of what a good Zimbabwean woman of your age should be. The choice of remaining single is yours alone. Never fit in a particular box that tells you if you don't have a man in your bedroom, you are not enough. That is silliness of the highest order. Follow your intuition all the time because it is your guide that tells you what is best for you. Don't ever compromise for less to be part of the crowd. Don't be shy of ridicule at all. Such challenges, ridicule and insults are where growth and strength lie. Your authentic Rubie will come out. Remember gold and diamonds, how were they formed to be so precious today? Intense heat under the earth's surface produced a precious diamond. In ten years, you will that diamond that was ridiculed in 2025.

The month of March is upon us: It is a month of women celebrating achievements of other women globally: a month where women reflect on national developments and strategize the way forward. Emancipation of women should be the cornerstone of our development. I will celebrate the 8th of March reflecting your achievements and of Chimhama. Chimhama is an effortless beautiful, intelligent, articulate politician of our time. Chimhama deserves our recognition and her contribution towards total independence of Zimbabwe. We cannot take away her acumen, her abilities and capabilities from her because you have taken different pathways. Equally you are courageous and a positively daring person. Chimhama, Rumbi, keep up your good work: your political activism is good for women and Zimbabwe. You are torch bearers of the final push of Zimbabwe independence. Truly, it is women power that will liberate Zimbabwe.