Opinion / Columnist
Not Everyone in Zimbabwe is Shona!
17 May 2014 at 16:23hrs | Views
Dear Shonas, Not Everyone in Zimbabwe is Shona!
A few years ago, I worked for one of the major oil companies in Zimbabwe. Having been a Trade Unionist then, I frequented the company HQ in Harare a lot. Being an unapologetic and self-loving Kalanga from the heart of Bulilima-Mangwe (may God bless my Homeland), I always spoke English for the sake of understanding between myself and the staffers based in Harare. It so happened on one day that I walked into the CEO's Secretary's office. As usual, I spoke in English, since the point of communication is to create understanding, and I know that every Zimbabwean learns English in school. To my surprise and shock, the Secretary questioned me: "Which country do you belong to? Are you a Zimbabwean?" I said why, I am Zimbabwean. And she exclaimed; "a Zimbabwean who doesn't speak Shona!"
Hee bathu, ati ndakagwilo wila pasi. BaNgwadi tjose!
What on earth would make someone assume that everyone who holds a Zimbabwean passport has to speak and/or understand Shona? Is Zimbabwe Mashonaland and Mashonaland Zimbabwe? Is it sheer arrogance or is it stupidity and dullness of the highest order?
And the thinking of this particular secretary isn't just an isolated incident. It is common practice by those of Shona stock, especially the Zezurus. I was driving in Madlambudzi (deep western Bulilima-Mangwe) one time when at one bus stop, a fellow stopped my car, and without even greeting me, just blurted, "amusikuyendawo kuMbuyu here" (whether that's the correct spelling it's none of my business). The proud Kalanga that I am, I shot straight back with a question: "Hela, kotiwaneni kuti undiwane ipapa pakati napakati kweBukalanga ukokumbula kuti ndoleba kene ndowwa TjiShona?" And the fellow acts surprised, and I left him standing there.
Now, to the biggest criminals in this Gukurahundist enteprise, the ZRP (no institution is as disgusting as this one!). You meet them down in Mambale, Tjingababili, Kezi, Hingwe, Bambadzi, Ntoli, Zwenshambe, Mlambakwena, Mathangwane, Mapoka, Themashanga, Mpalawwali, Bhalule, Gotjombo, etc, and on their stealing spree (so-called roadblocks), they will speak to you in Shona. What the f*ck! I mean, yemwi mapholisa, mapesu enyu mani, motihemesa. Ngono anditomusola kwazwo, you are simply learning from your father, the Gukurahundist-in-Chief who I shall leave unnamed. He is famous for addressing the "nation" in Shona from one of the highest offices in the land. Is the "Zimbabwean Nation" the Shona?
Indeed, said the Lord Jesus to the Pharisees, you tell lies because you're sons of the Father of Lies, the Devil. So the little Gukurahundists follow in the footsteps of their Father, the Gukurahundist-in-Chief.
Dear Shonas, not everyone in Zimbabwe is a Shona. Just because you met me carrying a Zimbabwean passport in Johannesburg or Gaborone or Silicon Valley, it does not mean that I am Shona, and learn to respect that. Your arrogance isn't only divisive but makes your evil leaders live in constant fear of what may happen if they lose power, and as a result, they have enslaved you too.
Have you never heard that there are also Bakalanga, BaSotho, BaNambya, Vhavenda and others in this country? So what would make a police officer or any other Shona assume that everyone they meet on the street is Shona? The same goes for ZBC, the Army, the Police, ZPS, etc. Why should people be trained in Shona in the first place? And why should some 90% of programs on radio and TV be in Shona? Is it part of the 1979 Gukurahundist Grand Plan?
And don't tell me about the population nonsense. It's not us who said Shona should marry 11 wives and have 100 children. That's your culture and we respect it as it is, but we can't then have to subsidize your lives for your failed family planning!
Moziba makatjinyika seni. Makaleleka zwakayipa. Zimbabwe is NOT Mashonaland and Mashonaland is NOT Zimbabwe. If you want a Shona country, then just leave us out of it, and don't touch our beloved Bukalanga (so-called Matebeleland). After all, we benefit nothing from you but plunder of our resources, corruption on a level unseen before amongst us, nepotism, political tribalism, public mis-management, etc. Or are you afraid if you leave us alone we will build so successful a country it will make you and your leaders look like you're living in the Stone Age? Actually, you already look like you live in the Stone Age, absolutely uncivilized, at least the majority of you!
Now, to us Bakalanga, BaSotho, BaNambya and Vhavenda (may God bless us), I say to you, when you meet a Shona and they speak to you in Shona, in our Motherland, our Homeland, fire back in Sesotho, TjiKalanga, TjiNambya and Tshivenda. There is no biblical law that says a Shona can't learn our languages. And don't be fooled by this nonsense that to make money or have safe road passage you have to speak Shona, its rubbish. If speaking Shona gave anyone money we wouldn't have a million Shonas begging money from us all the way from Victoria Falls via Plumtree to Venda to Johannesburg (ever wondered how a blind person even crosses the border to go and beg for money on the William Nicole Interchange in Joburg, or Gaborone? Sies mann!)
Well, I hope you have heard me loudly. Zimbabwe is NOT Mashonaland and Mashonaland is NOT Zimbabwe. Shonas, NOT EVERYONE in Zimbabwe is a Shona. Learn to respect diversity. True unity is only attainable in a society that respects the diversity of its people, not one that seeks uniformity. Uniformity is not Unity.
Mube mandiwwa wali. Ndalebeleka zwangu imi nkololo waMambo Dombolakona-Tjing'wango Dlembewu Moyo. Oh, before I sign off, just one last one: NOT EVERYONE IN 'MATEBELELAND' IS A NDEBELE!
A few years ago, I worked for one of the major oil companies in Zimbabwe. Having been a Trade Unionist then, I frequented the company HQ in Harare a lot. Being an unapologetic and self-loving Kalanga from the heart of Bulilima-Mangwe (may God bless my Homeland), I always spoke English for the sake of understanding between myself and the staffers based in Harare. It so happened on one day that I walked into the CEO's Secretary's office. As usual, I spoke in English, since the point of communication is to create understanding, and I know that every Zimbabwean learns English in school. To my surprise and shock, the Secretary questioned me: "Which country do you belong to? Are you a Zimbabwean?" I said why, I am Zimbabwean. And she exclaimed; "a Zimbabwean who doesn't speak Shona!"
Hee bathu, ati ndakagwilo wila pasi. BaNgwadi tjose!
What on earth would make someone assume that everyone who holds a Zimbabwean passport has to speak and/or understand Shona? Is Zimbabwe Mashonaland and Mashonaland Zimbabwe? Is it sheer arrogance or is it stupidity and dullness of the highest order?
And the thinking of this particular secretary isn't just an isolated incident. It is common practice by those of Shona stock, especially the Zezurus. I was driving in Madlambudzi (deep western Bulilima-Mangwe) one time when at one bus stop, a fellow stopped my car, and without even greeting me, just blurted, "amusikuyendawo kuMbuyu here" (whether that's the correct spelling it's none of my business). The proud Kalanga that I am, I shot straight back with a question: "Hela, kotiwaneni kuti undiwane ipapa pakati napakati kweBukalanga ukokumbula kuti ndoleba kene ndowwa TjiShona?" And the fellow acts surprised, and I left him standing there.
Now, to the biggest criminals in this Gukurahundist enteprise, the ZRP (no institution is as disgusting as this one!). You meet them down in Mambale, Tjingababili, Kezi, Hingwe, Bambadzi, Ntoli, Zwenshambe, Mlambakwena, Mathangwane, Mapoka, Themashanga, Mpalawwali, Bhalule, Gotjombo, etc, and on their stealing spree (so-called roadblocks), they will speak to you in Shona. What the f*ck! I mean, yemwi mapholisa, mapesu enyu mani, motihemesa. Ngono anditomusola kwazwo, you are simply learning from your father, the Gukurahundist-in-Chief who I shall leave unnamed. He is famous for addressing the "nation" in Shona from one of the highest offices in the land. Is the "Zimbabwean Nation" the Shona?
Indeed, said the Lord Jesus to the Pharisees, you tell lies because you're sons of the Father of Lies, the Devil. So the little Gukurahundists follow in the footsteps of their Father, the Gukurahundist-in-Chief.
Have you never heard that there are also Bakalanga, BaSotho, BaNambya, Vhavenda and others in this country? So what would make a police officer or any other Shona assume that everyone they meet on the street is Shona? The same goes for ZBC, the Army, the Police, ZPS, etc. Why should people be trained in Shona in the first place? And why should some 90% of programs on radio and TV be in Shona? Is it part of the 1979 Gukurahundist Grand Plan?
And don't tell me about the population nonsense. It's not us who said Shona should marry 11 wives and have 100 children. That's your culture and we respect it as it is, but we can't then have to subsidize your lives for your failed family planning!
Moziba makatjinyika seni. Makaleleka zwakayipa. Zimbabwe is NOT Mashonaland and Mashonaland is NOT Zimbabwe. If you want a Shona country, then just leave us out of it, and don't touch our beloved Bukalanga (so-called Matebeleland). After all, we benefit nothing from you but plunder of our resources, corruption on a level unseen before amongst us, nepotism, political tribalism, public mis-management, etc. Or are you afraid if you leave us alone we will build so successful a country it will make you and your leaders look like you're living in the Stone Age? Actually, you already look like you live in the Stone Age, absolutely uncivilized, at least the majority of you!
Now, to us Bakalanga, BaSotho, BaNambya and Vhavenda (may God bless us), I say to you, when you meet a Shona and they speak to you in Shona, in our Motherland, our Homeland, fire back in Sesotho, TjiKalanga, TjiNambya and Tshivenda. There is no biblical law that says a Shona can't learn our languages. And don't be fooled by this nonsense that to make money or have safe road passage you have to speak Shona, its rubbish. If speaking Shona gave anyone money we wouldn't have a million Shonas begging money from us all the way from Victoria Falls via Plumtree to Venda to Johannesburg (ever wondered how a blind person even crosses the border to go and beg for money on the William Nicole Interchange in Joburg, or Gaborone? Sies mann!)
Well, I hope you have heard me loudly. Zimbabwe is NOT Mashonaland and Mashonaland is NOT Zimbabwe. Shonas, NOT EVERYONE in Zimbabwe is a Shona. Learn to respect diversity. True unity is only attainable in a society that respects the diversity of its people, not one that seeks uniformity. Uniformity is not Unity.
Mube mandiwwa wali. Ndalebeleka zwangu imi nkololo waMambo Dombolakona-Tjing'wango Dlembewu Moyo. Oh, before I sign off, just one last one: NOT EVERYONE IN 'MATEBELELAND' IS A NDEBELE!
Source - Dombolakona-Tjing'wango Dlembewu Moyo
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