Ex-Hubby leaves ex-lover's boyfriend with shaking teeth and a bloody nose

A MAN was left with shaking teeth and a bloody nose after he was bashed by his new-found lover's ex-husband in Hatcliffe yesterday. Only (real first name!) Katsande of house No. 5826 in Hatcliffe was attacked at his house by Perky Show (32) of House No. 5089 Hatcliffe Extension for falling in love with his ex-wife Winnet Alfrei.

Despite having vacated the cookie jar, Perky decided to show (no pun intended) Katsande that he would not take it lying down. He decided to fight TOOTH and NAIL-literally! Katsande claims that the love affair with Winnet lasted for a measly three weeks before Show trapped him. They were taken to Borrowdale police station where he spent hours waiting for a docket to be opened while Show and Winnet were in the Victim Friendly Unit.

Katsande was bleeding and complaining of a severe headache after he was head-butted, stoned and slapped viciously by Show and his friends before he ran for dear life and jumped over a fence in his  haste. "Right now my head is aching and my teeth are shaking but the police officers are delaying to give me a report to take to the doctor so I can seek medical attention.

"We have only been in love for three weeks and Winnet told me that she has separated with Perky ' only for me to get a beating from him. "Perky awakened me from sleep and asked me to show him my phone saying he lost his phone and wanted to verify. "It was my first time to see him and I argued with him over my phone which I refused to give him before he called his friends Samson and Dillan.

"Only head-butted me before grabbing bricks and striking me on my shoulder and abdomen with them claiming that I had taken his wife away from him. "I lost my wallet with US$346,50 and a black scotch cap in the scuffle," said a visibly shaken and battered Perky. "I jumped the security fence to run for dear life after his friends were holding me down to allow Katsande to win the fight.

"Please do not publish this because it would put my formal affairs in jeopardy," said Perky. Neighbours came to save Katsande before he ran to Hatcliffe police post to make a report who took the three scuffling troops to Borrowdale police station. Winnet is accusing her former husband of being needlessly possessive after he gave her 'gupuro'; a token to seal separation between couples in the Shona culture wayback in April.

She claims that she is now working to maintain herself. She met Katsande on her way home from Borrowdale West. Apparently he came with the Bible and left after scouring her cookie jar in pure devious fashion of pretentious adoration for her. "I met him on my way from work and we were sharing the Word of God before he took my contact details.

"Show gave me R2 for gupuro and US$2 for transport in April and he is now after my new lover. We have not been dating for long and Show is already fighting my new lover. "Yesterday he waited for me by the roadside expecting me to be accompanied by Katsande from work. He was with his bouncers Samson and Dillan with whom he wanted to thump my newfound love.

"I do not ever consider getting back together with him ever again because he had a habit of beating me up with a hose pipe and never bought any clothes for the children. "He is so cruel after all he has found his new lover whom he is staying with. He must DO his shebeen-Queen and leave me working peacefully," said Winnet.

Meaning DO literally as in jump in the sack with the shebeen-Queen and leave her to enjoy her freshly blossoming love with her Only man. Show is known in Hatcliffe extension for selling beer at his house for a living along with his other mistress and is demanding back a generator and a TV set which was taken by Winnet after they separated in April. According to Winnet, Show is accusing her mother of being greedy.