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The Mucheke birthday bash in starving Masvingo

16 Feb 2016 at 14:27hrs | Views
It is reported that the annual 21st February movement feeding orgy will be held at Mucheke stadium in famished Masvingo this year at a reported cost of $800 000. On this date in question all the applauded luxurious ford rangers and four by fours will be negotiating the potholed roads leading Mucheke stadium in Masvingo. It is also reported that the ZANU PF youth militia is forcing the province of Masvingo to foot the bill of the feast by demanding a dollar from each village.

 Masvingo is one of the provinces that have been most affected by the current drought.  The majority of people in the province are now practically surviving on one meal a day. Villagers have resorted to selling their livestock at very low prices and unscrupulous business people are taking advantage of the desperate people by buying the livestock for as low as thirty dollars. Children have been withdrawn from school due to malnutrition. It is therefore cruel and insensitive for ZANU to further tax the poor villagers. It is such insensitivity that has made the people of Zimbabwe question the authenticity of their government as to how much they really have the welfare of its people at heart.

 Zimbabwe like most of Africa and the world at large is suffering from the extremes of global warming which has caused severe drought in some areas and flooding in others. This is old news to our government which makes it a point that every seminar or workshop held by every sort of organization dealing with a myriad of subjects ranging from climate change to ICT is attended by mandarins from relevant ministries. These outings provide the mandarins a chance to travel the globe with their mistresses at government expense. It also provides much needed copy for the state run newspapers which would otherwise be forced to report on unfaithful spouses of injiva. It's a tough job running PR disguised as news for a despotic administration!

The point is, the government knew long back that the region will be hit by a severe drought. The purpose for those expensive seminars at UN is to help governments PLAN. They are not pleasure trips but informative seminars aimed at helping poor governments plan on how to cope with such phenomena. Therefore the drought should not have come as a surprise to our government. When fresh from the AU where he had relinquished his presidency Mugabe woke up to the fact that Zimbabwe had run out of food he belatedly declared a national state of emergency. He immediately sent out an SOS for at least one billion dollars to the international community. It is common knowledge that this international community is the much hated west and not our beloved thieving allies from the east who have looted our resources and rewarded Amai with an off the shelf PhD.

With not a sign of shame on his face Mugabe pleaded with the west to come to the aid of the people of Zimbabwe. The very same west against which he had ranted and raved the previous week!! To come to the aid of the very same people whose hiuses he had ordered razed to the ground because they were an eyesore on his beloved road to the airport. The only non-pilot with more air-hours than any commercial pilot pleaded with the West to help the villagers of Masvingo from whom his militia is extorting money so that they can host his birthday feast in the midst of poor and starving Masvingo.

My heart goes out to the poor unknown elephants which will be shot down to feed the hordes of powdered faced and bewigged 69 year old youth members of the 21st February Movement. My heart goes out to the poor kombi operators who will be harassed off the road to make way for the Ford Rangers and the biggest motorcade in Africa on its way to Mucheke Stadium. Mugabe will unashamedly feast on the huge cake surrounded by his family and his lickspittle obedient sons with not a care for the young family of Itai Dzamara who have been hungry since their father was stolen last year. My heart goes out to the starving residents of Masvingo whose mouths will salivate at the delicious smells coming from the feast in Mucheke. My fervent prayer goes to The Lord to give strength to the MC so that he may resist the temptation of giving the microphone to Dr. Amai Phd. Otherwise the poor people of Masvingo will be told to remember what theyate during the last drought!!!

ZAPU Information Desk.

Source - Iphithule Thembani kaMaphosa
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