Mugabe's nephew has bigger issues to fight

The chickens are surely coming home to roost!

Remember the other time when Zanu-PF National Political Commissar Saviour Kasukuwere raged like a mad bull, railing at The Herald for reporting in a manner that he did not like?

It was such a low point and one in which we saw the political commissar nervously breaking down.

He totally lost it and called one of our reporters son-of-a-something, a very unacceptable low that a whole minister in a revolutionary and people-oriented Government would ever plunge to.

Kasukuwere was feeling the heat as this newspaper and our sister publication, The Sunday Mail, had been reporting on the goings-on in the revolutionary party.

Not that we are alone or had a special mission or agenda against him.

These things - the things we see and report on in and out of Zanu-PF - are there for everyone to see.

In their ugliness.

Or in their beauty.

Somehow, yet Kasukuwere thought there was a crime in journalists - journalists from the ‘State' media - doing their job.

Not only that, Kasukuwere somehow thought he was now qualified to lecture us on how to report issues, editorial policy, etc.

But Kasukuwere may have learnt soon enough that you do not pick fights with the media, much less needless ones driven by fragile egos.

Not even Donald Trump, the world's most powerful man, can!

Problem Patrick

However, such lessons are lost on some people, including one Patrick Zhuwao , who happens to be Kasukuwere's factionalist cohort.

In the very same manner and spirit, Zhuwao, whose main claim to fame is being the President's nephew, who has done precious little in the job that the Head of State and Government entrusted to him to lead the Indigenisation Ministry.

Just zero.

Instead, he has been identified with championing factionalism along with Kasukuwere and Professor Jonathan Moyo.

The latter two actually have claim to some great and wonderful things - for all their faults.

They are elected, too, which poor Zhuwao is not, after facing an inglorious defeat at the hands of Francis "Franco" Mukwangwariwa in Zvimba.

You should know the kind of joy with which Franco savours his position at the expense of Zhuwao, especially after his famed drinking!

Which makes it curious that Zhuwao wants more fights on top of that: he should just clear Franco out of the way and begin talking.

He must choose his opponents and weight category carefully.

But we know he does not have the capacity nor stamina!

He is just a lightweight who happens to be the nephew of the country's finest gentleman and President who entrusted the responsibility of a key policy to him.

Zhuwao flattered to deceive.

He has just withered at the challenge.

He has sought the escape route of heaping himself in a faction.

We are sure he feels safe there with "Tyson" on one flank and the Professor on the other.

It must be comforting, if it is not some cold comfort.

Ironically, he is growing too cosy there!

All about faction

It gets worse. You cannot trust Zhuwao to think outside narrow confines of his factionalist gang.

It is embarrassing.

Yesterday we carried a story in which he was trying to separate Command Agriculture - a Government programme - from the broader scheme of Zim-Asset.

To his narrow, small mind he saw an appropriation of factionalist agendas.

He thus said:

"Zimbabwe is not about Command. Zimbabwe is about Zim-Asset. That is the agenda that we move with and unfortunately media has tended to want to highlight Command as if Command is the only game in town. No. It is not!" An attendee reminded the minister that Command Agriculture was part of Zim-Asset.

"It is a component. Unfortunately guys within the Zimpapers stable want to actually highlight Command because hamenowo imwe agenda yamunenge muinayo where you think that by highlighting Command murikusimudzirawo ngana nangana, No. Handizvo! Munenge mataika."

It is clear that he thinks that the new Command thrust is stealing the thunder from a policy that is usually attributed to Prof Moyo in terms of its authorship.

That is how low and pathetic Zhuwao can sink!

He is so small-minded and sycophantic and unable to stand on his own two feet even after President Mugabe has given him legs and is the only person to lean on.

But, no, Zhuwao decides to hide under the skirts of Jonathan Moyo and Saviour Kasukuwere who are, incredibly, accused of being factionalists seeking to torpedo President Mugabe.

It's twisted.

Zhuwao is well and truly a political nonentity who should have done better for having President Mugabe as a mentor and leader.

What a burning shame!

Once upon a time in Korea

Then we were amused at the response that Prof Moyo himself gave to a story written on Wednesday by one of our columnists in which the columnist questioned Moyo's continued vilification of the Government's Command Agriculture programme.

Moyo had just rechristened the programme "Command Ugly-Culture" to show his disdain for the programme which stems from his disagreement with Vice President Mnangagwa who, as part of Government, has been doing his part to drive the programme.

We posited that there was something "ugly" with Moyo's head which needed examining.

Indeed, his tiff is ugly - as is also his behaviour as a senior official at party and Government level.

The article, we must admit, carried a couple of jabs but which we hoped were friendly enough.

But we also budgeted for an ugly response from the Professor who is known to take no prisoners.

His response was amusing and brief.

He wrote: "Something's ugly with Moyo's head" vomits the @HeraldZimbabwe. Even North Korean propaganda is better than this!

Nice and brief!

Only it reminded us of once upon a time in Korea!

And that is not so many years of water under the bridge.

Handei tione!