Virginity has lost its value

VIRGINITY has been associated with purity, chastity, valor and Godliness, but over the years this precious virtue has been thrown to the dogs â€" it is no longer valued.

Not long ago there were many young people who valued their purity and adhered to the principle of no sex before marriage but today one would be shocked at the age that people are engaging in sexual activities. With all the warning of the dangers of premarital sexual activity and the serious threat of HIV and Aids, there still a great number of unmarried teenagers having sex.

Zimbabwe is currently among top listed countries in sub Saharan Africa having people living with HIV and Aids. The increase in sexual activity among the young generation is a pointer that the country could be heading for disaster if things like preserving virginity and upholding of culture are not revisited.

The church, which is supposed to be the leading institution that spreads the word of purity has been accused by some for failing to teach the young unmarried generation on the importance of upholding values such as virginity.

"The church has failed us as parents in trying to educate our children on the essence of purity.We feel the church must be able to touch such topics when children go for youth or other Christian unions but they are not. Instead they are encouraging fundraising projects and camps where our girls come back pregnant," fumed Mrs Madelina Nkomo from the city.

She said that a number of young girls were coming back from camp meetings pregnant and one can only wonder where the "shepherds" will be when the sheep go astray. She added that the church must encourage purity at the highest level which will see the number of infections of the deadly scourge going down significantly. If a child is taught to abstain from any sexual activity before they enter the institution of marriage, they are more likely to be free from the various sexually transmitted diseases.

Her sentiments were tightly backed by an old man with a rich background of culture and its values who said marriage before a church minister should be for virgins only.

"Marriage before a pastor or any man of the cloth must be for virgins only, the pure in mind, body and soul. It is a good example to those that are still growing," he said.

The octogenarian said the ones that are pure deserve the right to marry each other and explore the avenue of sex together as one, teaching each other and learning along the way. He said it was unfair to hold the so-called kitchen parties for an "old horse" that has seen it all.

The intention of the party is to give a bride-to-be previews of what will happen when they are in matrimony, get a few tips on sex but now the brides are far too experienced to be having these types of initiations. It is like telling the fish about water. The old man added that it sets good precedence to the young ones if those marrying in church are pure as they will want to wed before a church congregation.

"Abancane will follow the footsteps of those that will have passed the test of purity. The church should glorify and celebrate good  behaviour. Those who have  retired and want to remarry should go to the magistrate court. The church is not their place," he added.

And those who fail the test of purity can find other avenues of tying the knot! Engaging in premarital sex means considering some very important factors, both physical ones, like the possibility of becoming pregnant or getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD) and emotional factors too. Though a person's body may feel ready for sex, sex also has very serious emotional consequences. For many teens, moral factors are very important as well. Family attitudes, personal values, or religious beliefs provide them with an inner voice that guides them in resisting pressures to get sexually involved before the time is right. In a number of cultures virginity testing is common and this has managed to ensure that young women and girls maintain their purity until they are married. Girls are taken to the river accompanied by older women who perform the tests. In some cultures the girls, who would have passed the test would be offered unblemished leaves or whole oranges both as a symbol and testimony to other women that they have managed to keep themselves pure and untouched.

The late Chief Naboth Makoni is one man who was strong on issues of purity and called for men who wanted to marry virgins to produce documented proof of their HIV negative status as part of his controversial anti-Aids campaign. Chief Makoni argued that it was grossly unfair to allow a marriage between a person living with the virus and "a virgin who has tested negative". His plan, which includes voluntary virginity testing of girls seeks to combat the spread of HIV/Aids.

So far 3 500 girls have been tested on their own insistence and some have been awarded certificates.

"That"s why we're demanding proof of a man"s HIV-status if he wants to marry any of these angels," the traditional leader was quoted saying. Around 3 000 people die of Aids-related diseases in Zimbabwe every week. Some of Chief Makoni"s critics argue that anyone can forge a document altering their HIV status. Others say virginity tests are no longer regarded in the way they used to when marriages were confined to people living in the same village. There is also the fear of isolation and in worst cases stigmatisation. Those who "fail" will experience stigmatisation, whether their test result is publicised or not. However, the campaign is certainly worth the while. The number of divorce cases have been attributed to the issue of virginity. If a man marries a deflowered girl he uses it against her later in life and that is causing a number of divorces in the country. Another issue that was raised about Chief Makoni's idea was the ownership of a woman's body. Who should have the final say, her community, her parents, her husband or the girl herself?  The issue of human rights has been highlighted but interestingly those that clamor for respect of human rights are the same perpetrators of some disgusting crimes such as rape. Some people who spoke to this reporter said a number of rapists would be caught if virginity testing was to be implemented.

"Many rapists would be caught if this was done because as a parent one would want to know who deflowered their children before marriage especially if she is under age," said one parent. He added that nowadays there are numerous cases of rape that involve fathers, uncles and daughters and these cases would be brought out if girls are tested for virginity. Fathers are raping their own flesh and blood and are walking freely in the streets.

Virginity testing was widely practised by the Venda, Sotho, Xhosa, Shangani, Shona people of Zimbabwe. It was a way to prove a girl's purity and value and was used to determine the lobola.  However, lobbyists are calling for the traditional practice to return with a new purpose of fighting the spread of HIV/Aids. Zimbabwe has the world's second highest HIV/Aids prevalence rate behind South Africa. Rural leaders felt virginity testing was a way to incorporate old tradition while addressing a contemporary problem.

At least three other Zimbabwe chiefs have approved virginity testing for the purposes of preventing the spread of HIV/Aids. Last year, close to 20 000 young women were tested in Chief Makoni's area. Academic and Gender Activist Mrs Sibongile Mpofu said she hasn't heard much noise from the church in terms of advocating for the preservation of virginity.

"There hasn't been much from the church yet they are able to advocate for change from the youths," said Mpofu.

"If churches, especially the ones that draw largely the youths, come in with such advocacy programmes aimed towards instilling good behaviour among the youths, this will boost the country's social marketing campaigns on HIV and Aids and maybe in the  long-term young people will get the message and take care of themselves and be proud of their bodies without having to undergo these virginity tests which are discriminatory and very degrading for young girls," said Mpofu.

She said youth needed to be educated on the dangers of multiple partners, for example abstaining from sexual activities and so on. Virginity testing therefore, is not the solution to fighting HIV/Aids, but could be part and parcel of connecting with one's body and  being proud of it. Some Christians felt otherwise saying testing was archaic.

"Virginity testing in the past was relevant, now it is no longer valid in the Christian environment as there are other methods in the church of ensuring morality. Youths are constantly checked by their elders, their behaviour and movement is monitored and with the help of Bible teachings, we can do away with virginity testing for now," said a pastor.

Young men, however, said they didn"t want to marry virgins as they do not have experience and again they wanted to "sample the product before buying it".

"I can't marry a virgin. I don"t know if she is good in bed or not. If I taste her first I can be in a position to decide to marry her or not," said a young man from Sizinda.

He said he did not want to risk marrying a woman who would not suit his flavour. The question that begs for an answer and that will remain food for thought is, whose daughters are these men "tasting" and who are they leaving them for? Who then should marry the deflowered girl, and if other men taste their sisters and daughters will they be happy? In a nutshell, the tragic demise of virginity testing and moral values must be revived as a matter of urgency. Girls and boys need to undergo testing be it traditional or medical and it must be enforced for the greater possibility of having an Aids free generation.