'You all miss Mugabe after your-PFee'

My People,

I perfectly understand the fact that all of you are feeling guilty about your premature celebrations following the military ouster of Gushungo around this time last year.

In fact, all of you were tricked into toppling the iconic African revolutionary by war veterans and the military after their scare tactics failed to work.

They thought by parading a few tanks in the streets, Gushungo would capitulate and hand over power.

The boys in military fatigues got the shocks of their lives when the very calm, but stern-looking former school master reprimanded them and threatened them with expulsion, ordering them back to the barracks.

Back to the story, I was saying most of you can't be feeling half as clever as you thought you were last year when you celebrated the fall of Gushungo.

I will not even mention the clueless MDC leadership which was once again hoodwinked into wading in to solve the Zanu-PF succession conundrum.

They too must be feeling like mugs together with their ZCTU brothers and sisters.

In less than a year, money vanished from the banks and resurfaced on the streets and prices of just about everything multiplied several times over.
Fuel shortages are back.

And these clueless guys are not done with you.

By the time they are done with you, you will all be ready to march to Zvimba to beg your leader to return to politics and lead you.

Remember it has been done in Malaysia.

How do MDC leaders feel?

When Morgan Tsvangirai was on his deathbed, the MDC leadership connived with the Zanu-PF leadership and agreed to parade and humiliate him in front of the international media.

You could tell that some of them were so excited by the prospect of succeeding Tsvangirai that they walked with a spring in their step.

Very naive indeed. They should have insisted on a more private and discreet meeting and not hold a rally at Morgan's house while images of his emaciated body were flashed across the world.

They took away the man's dignity and could have hastened his departure from this world.

Fast-forward to last week. When ED visited one of his deputies, Dr Shinanagunz, who is recovering from his house.

It was done in a truly sensitive way to the dignity of a human being.

Lizard Lacoste did not take hordes of journalists on his visit to the Retired General.

He did not even invite Chamisa and other leaders of the MDC when he visited as should be the case.

The privacy and dignity of the Retired General and his family was protected to the extent that his wife, whose hands are affected by a medical condition, was able to cover them, which was a commendable thing.

Again those mugs at the MDC must have been left feeling like low-lives after what they did to Tsvangson.

DeadBC!

The story of hundreds of buffaloes, which drowned in a river while fleeing from marauding lions in Botswana made sad international headlines.

As usual, for entertainment, we tuned in to the one and only television station DeadBC's main news for the daily comedy of errors.

At least for now we are being spared from the torture of watching and listening to MaSibanda who, if she is still interested in reading the news, can be given the 11pm late bulletin.

Back to the buffaloes, the story was read out and MacDonald Gurira continued with the sad narration, concluding by adding that villagers had collected the dead buffaloes and taken them home, presumably for consumption.

The story was crying out loudly for an editor.

You don't collect heavy animals like buffaloes like you do mbeva (mice) or amacimbi (mopani worms).

The story would have been more complete if it had indicated how those huge animals were so easily collected.

But again, maybe the story was written by one of those relatives who cannot be fired.
 
Nation of failures

Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe governor John Mangudya was this week not pulling his punches as he defended the weakness of the bond saying it was all to do with a poorly performing economy.

The problems lay in part in the poor performance of the manufacturing and farming sectors, he said.

Such truthfulness is refreshing! The chefs are not producing on the farms!

We produce soya beans that makes cooking oil that lasts only one month per year!

Treason indeed.

Asiagate

It was interesting to receive information that Gift Banda was being barred from running for a post in the Zifa elections because he was still being rehabilitated over the Asiagate match-fixing scandals. As a result, he had failed the credibility test.

Zifa needs to decide on whether to remain stuck in the past or move on and not use the match-fixing scandal to victimise perceived opponents.

Warriors coach Sunday Chidzambwa and goalkeeper Edmore Sibanda were caught up in the match-fixing scandal, but they are part of the Afcon qualifiers and doing a commendable job for now.

Some of the most strident journalists doing commissariat journalism at The Horrid newspaper against Banda were also involved in the Asiagate match-fixing scandal.

A famous picture of one of the journalists barking instructions from the bench in Malaysia and allegedly telling players it was time to concede a goal is available.

Just in case.
Gushungo woyeee!
Ntombizodwa woyeee!
Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)

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