Opinion / Columnist
Actually, what one does in privacy of bedroom DOES determine what type of leader they become!
06 Apr 2023 at 04:12hrs | Views
Over the past years, as more and more scandals of infidelity amongst our leaders in Zimbabwe are exposed - a pertinent issue has inevitably been regularly raised.
What have an individual's private activities got to do with their performance as a leader?
In other words, should we really care about what someone, in a leadership position, does in their private space - particularly, in their own bedroom, more so, when this is between two consenting adults?
Zimbabwe has never been short of these sexually juicy stories - especially, involving those in leadership positions - who are married, but prone to straying from their matrimonial vows.
There are also those who are single, but involve themselves in intimate relationships with married partners.
Some of these escapades have led to unsavory consequences - such as, attracting unwanted attention and embarrassment - through leakages of intimate messages, pictures or videos.
Or, even something more damaging as demands of divorce from cheated spouses, or humiliating reports of 'wrecking' other people's homes.
I will not delve into any specific cases - since, this is neither the objective of this discourse - nor, is it intended to attack or disparage anyone in particular.
The focus is whether it really matters what a leader does in the privacy of their bedroom - specially, when this pertains to illicit extra-marital affairs.
The answer to that is a resounding YES!
It does matter!
Let us remember that one of the central qualities and traits of a good leader is trustworthiness and loyalty.
This is principally determined by one's values and principles in life - which can be exhibited by their behavior in the confines of their personal space, or wherever they believe no one can see them.
Leaders who respect and honor their marriage vows, or those of others - by remaining faithful to their spouses, or staying clear of those who are married - can also be trusted in upholding their oaths of office.
In the same light - leaders who wantonly violate their sacred covenants with their spouses, or those of others - similarly, have no qualms at all disregarding solemn promises they swore to uphold in their leadership roles.
If we care to examine this assertion - the people of Zimbabwe can easily see that leaders with a terrible history of unfaithfulness in their marriages - are equally engaged in not only the brazen violation of the country's Constitution, but are also masters of corruption.
This should not be particularly surprising - as all these things are intertwined.
One can not fail to respect his or her holy vows to his own spouse - but somehow, be faithful and loyal to the laws of the country, or what is expected of his or her office.
It does not matter whether one is in political or corporate governance - the principle is the same.
Let us go deeper!
Our minds process faithfulness into the same place - the prefrontal cortex.
This is the region of the brain located at the front of the frontal lobe.
It is implicated in a variety of complex behaviors - including, planning, and greatly contributes to personality development.
The prefrontal cortex contributes to several executive functions - such as, impulse control and managing emotional reactions; predicting the consequences of one's actions; planning for the future; focusing one's attention, and other processes.
In fact, the development of this part of the brain is what determines an individual's maturity levels - which is expected to advance as one grows older.
This is how such things as the age of sexual consent or to marriage, or the right to vote are evaluated.
In other words, this is how the attainment of eighteen years is usually stipulated as the 'legal age of majority', whereby an individual is regarded an adult.
Nonetheless, most neurologists agree that the prefrontal cortex is not fully developed until around the age of 25 years.
Of course, as we will see, not everyone has this part of the brain truly fully developed - even when they reach their 80s.
Therefore, it goes without saying that, the propensity for an individual to make such decisions as violating their marriage vows is directly symptomatic of not only poor decision-making, but also immature impulse-control - all of which are processed in the prefrontal cortex.
This, then, means a person who lacks impulse control and has poor decision-making will not limit this purely to straying from and betraying their matrimonial vows.
As this is the person's character and nature - they will, in all likelihood, also cheat at work by wantonly disregarding their oath of office, or feel no guilt in looting.
That being said, it is clear that - indeed, what one does in the privacy of their bedroom DOES determines what type of leader they become.
In a country as Zimbabwe - where we have leaders who are notorious for their grand plunder of national resources, and brazen disregard of what is expected of them - we need to take seriously these 'not so obvious' signs of a good or bad leader.
It is rather disingenuous when we elect people into power, simply on the basis of their public pronouncements - yet, completely ignoring their private lives.
Indeed, a leader can be gifted in their particular field of expertise - possessing great ideas, and even exhibiting an unbridled passion for the nation and its people.
However, that can all count for naught if the same individual has challenges with their decision-making and impulse-control - which can lead to amoral behavior and violation of certain principles and values, for which they signed up.
In simpler terms - why would anyone think a person who can not be faithful to their own matrimonial vows will be faithful in anything or to anyone else?
The signs are always there - and, we should not cry or act shocked as a nation when particular leaders, we elected into office, turn out to be looters, who also break their promises to us.
Their behavior in their private lives matters!
- Tendai Ruben Mbofana is a social justice advocate, writer, researcher, and social commentator. Please feel free to WhatsApp or Call: +263715667700 | +263782283975, or email: mbofana.tendairuben73@gmail.com
What have an individual's private activities got to do with their performance as a leader?
In other words, should we really care about what someone, in a leadership position, does in their private space - particularly, in their own bedroom, more so, when this is between two consenting adults?
Zimbabwe has never been short of these sexually juicy stories - especially, involving those in leadership positions - who are married, but prone to straying from their matrimonial vows.
There are also those who are single, but involve themselves in intimate relationships with married partners.
Some of these escapades have led to unsavory consequences - such as, attracting unwanted attention and embarrassment - through leakages of intimate messages, pictures or videos.
Or, even something more damaging as demands of divorce from cheated spouses, or humiliating reports of 'wrecking' other people's homes.
I will not delve into any specific cases - since, this is neither the objective of this discourse - nor, is it intended to attack or disparage anyone in particular.
The focus is whether it really matters what a leader does in the privacy of their bedroom - specially, when this pertains to illicit extra-marital affairs.
The answer to that is a resounding YES!
It does matter!
Let us remember that one of the central qualities and traits of a good leader is trustworthiness and loyalty.
This is principally determined by one's values and principles in life - which can be exhibited by their behavior in the confines of their personal space, or wherever they believe no one can see them.
Leaders who respect and honor their marriage vows, or those of others - by remaining faithful to their spouses, or staying clear of those who are married - can also be trusted in upholding their oaths of office.
In the same light - leaders who wantonly violate their sacred covenants with their spouses, or those of others - similarly, have no qualms at all disregarding solemn promises they swore to uphold in their leadership roles.
If we care to examine this assertion - the people of Zimbabwe can easily see that leaders with a terrible history of unfaithfulness in their marriages - are equally engaged in not only the brazen violation of the country's Constitution, but are also masters of corruption.
This should not be particularly surprising - as all these things are intertwined.
One can not fail to respect his or her holy vows to his own spouse - but somehow, be faithful and loyal to the laws of the country, or what is expected of his or her office.
It does not matter whether one is in political or corporate governance - the principle is the same.
Let us go deeper!
Our minds process faithfulness into the same place - the prefrontal cortex.
This is the region of the brain located at the front of the frontal lobe.
It is implicated in a variety of complex behaviors - including, planning, and greatly contributes to personality development.
The prefrontal cortex contributes to several executive functions - such as, impulse control and managing emotional reactions; predicting the consequences of one's actions; planning for the future; focusing one's attention, and other processes.
In fact, the development of this part of the brain is what determines an individual's maturity levels - which is expected to advance as one grows older.
This is how such things as the age of sexual consent or to marriage, or the right to vote are evaluated.
In other words, this is how the attainment of eighteen years is usually stipulated as the 'legal age of majority', whereby an individual is regarded an adult.
Nonetheless, most neurologists agree that the prefrontal cortex is not fully developed until around the age of 25 years.
Of course, as we will see, not everyone has this part of the brain truly fully developed - even when they reach their 80s.
Therefore, it goes without saying that, the propensity for an individual to make such decisions as violating their marriage vows is directly symptomatic of not only poor decision-making, but also immature impulse-control - all of which are processed in the prefrontal cortex.
This, then, means a person who lacks impulse control and has poor decision-making will not limit this purely to straying from and betraying their matrimonial vows.
As this is the person's character and nature - they will, in all likelihood, also cheat at work by wantonly disregarding their oath of office, or feel no guilt in looting.
That being said, it is clear that - indeed, what one does in the privacy of their bedroom DOES determines what type of leader they become.
In a country as Zimbabwe - where we have leaders who are notorious for their grand plunder of national resources, and brazen disregard of what is expected of them - we need to take seriously these 'not so obvious' signs of a good or bad leader.
It is rather disingenuous when we elect people into power, simply on the basis of their public pronouncements - yet, completely ignoring their private lives.
Indeed, a leader can be gifted in their particular field of expertise - possessing great ideas, and even exhibiting an unbridled passion for the nation and its people.
However, that can all count for naught if the same individual has challenges with their decision-making and impulse-control - which can lead to amoral behavior and violation of certain principles and values, for which they signed up.
In simpler terms - why would anyone think a person who can not be faithful to their own matrimonial vows will be faithful in anything or to anyone else?
The signs are always there - and, we should not cry or act shocked as a nation when particular leaders, we elected into office, turn out to be looters, who also break their promises to us.
Their behavior in their private lives matters!
- Tendai Ruben Mbofana is a social justice advocate, writer, researcher, and social commentator. Please feel free to WhatsApp or Call: +263715667700 | +263782283975, or email: mbofana.tendairuben73@gmail.com
Source - Tendai Ruben Mbofana
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